Dear college students,
Life as a college student is a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. It is undoubtedly filled with memories and people you will cherish forever. College is the change into adult life, new experiences, and responsibilities. But the truth is that college is also filled with many challenges, such as stress from classes, the uncertainty of life after graduating, dealing with expenses, working and studying, etc. Often, these negative and challenging experiences can weigh more than the positives, leading to negative feelings that may affect mental health.
Sometimes, it can’t feel like there is no solution and that life is one big mess. However, there is something I have learned from being at college for more than four years and struggling with my mental health, burnout, heartbreak, and disappointments: everything will be okay in the end.
It may not seem like everything will be okay when going through a difficult moment. I used to get annoyed when people told me this because the feeling of helplessness can be so strong that it feels impossible to think things will improve. But there is a thought that has helped me immensely through these difficulties: nothing lasts forever. Either for good or for bad, things eventually come to an end.
Knowing that everything comes to an end gives me a sense of peace. It makes me feel so human and mortal. It helps me realize that things do have a solution. That the way I feel right now won’t be the same way I will always feel. This constant change is what makes us human and what makes life worth living.
For the longest time, I used to feel scared whenever I was too happy because I thought something terrible would happen. If I was doing well in my classes, getting the internship I wanted, and having good relationships, there was one next big thing about to happen that would destroy this almost perfect moment. And the truth is that something challenging will always arise, and something will not go as you wanted, but good things will keep happening. Being scared of the next big thing will only stop you from enjoying the moment and looking at the good stuff in it.
In college, we are all so different, yet so similar. Some people have more advantages than others when it comes to finishing college, and this is undeniable. But in one way or another, we all go through our struggles. And we all have different goals, but at the end of college, we all want to do our best and graduate.
Often, college will make you doubt your abilities and potential. Failing a class, getting rejected from a program, and getting bad grades are all things that can affect the way you feel, especially if you are also struggling with other things in your life may sometimes feel like there is no space to breathe and that there won’t be a solution to your task or the project you have to present, but I have learned that nothing is ever as wrong as it seems.
The number of times I would stress too much about a test or presentation and not end up being that bad is endless. Sometimes, you will feel at your limit, but if you push a little bit, you achieve what you thought was impossible. I want to remind you that you can do everything you want and that when something doesn’t go how you want, it is an opportunity to learn and redirect yourself.
I had always been a perfectionist until I got to college. I realized that it is only possible sometimes to get A’s. Accepting everything you want or being good at all your classes is impossible. Learning to deal with rejection and harsh feedback took me a while. Still, ultimately, those frustrating experiences and moments helped me grow. But, of course, academic challenges are combined with personal ones.
I personally struggled with different things through college, but the one that affected me the most was my mental health. During the past year, my mental health deteriorated, and this changed my life completely. I went from being involved in many student associations and the student council, working as a server, studying full time, and getting perfect grades to feeling completely burnt out, depressed, anxious, and unable to do anything. I felt like nothing was okay for a long time, and I was scared I would always feel that way. However, I began going to therapy, focusing on my recovery and trying to live day by day. Although it initially felt impossible, I began to experience some relief and to see that how I felt would not last forever.
I am still in the process of working on my mental health. There are days in which it gets to feel bad again, and my anxiety takes the worst of me. Still, now I know that it is temporary. Getting better with help and support is possible, and things will be okay eventually. That doesn’t mean that this didn’t affect me because it did. Some goals I had might now take longer to achieve, but that is okay; there will be a solution.
It is entirely valid to grieve, cry, and feel the way you feel, but don’t let those feelings consume you. There is always help available even when it might not seem like it. Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best of you, walking out of circles and places that hurt you, going to therapy, talking to your professors, or any other resource at college or outside are all things that will help you to see that it will get better. You don’t have to go through your struggles alone.
Life is not how we usually envision it, but it is still filled with beauty. Your college experience might not be the best four years of your life, which is okay. They might end up being more than four and filled with challenging times but also filled with beautiful friendships, achievements, opportunities, and love.
I will never forget these years, even though they were complicated and challenging, but that is part of it. I grew, learned, cried, loved, and things ended up being okay. Did they end up how I imagined when I was a kid? No, nor were they perfect. But they ended up being okay and life-changing. When I say that things will be okay, I mean that everything will have a solution and that, eventually, they will be better. Okay doesn’t mean perfect; it means constant work, filled with changes and hope. You got this, and you are not alone. Take a deep breath; it will be okay.
Best wishes,
Vale