It would be an understatement to say that breakups are tough. Everyone copes differently, but here are a few tactics that anyone can use to get over someone in a way they won’t regret later on.
1. Decide whether or not you want to try to get back together.
Sometimes, relationships end abruptly because of things like lack of communication, misunderstandings, etc. You should determine whether or not the reason for the breakup was a deal breaker or a spur of the moment thing, and whether you would be willing to get back together with this person. If it is a deal breaker, then skip this step. But if it isn’t, it might help to talk to your former partner and express your feelings about the breakup. Explain that you wish to get back together, and ask if they also wish to do so. If they feel the same way, then fantastic, but if they don’t, then it’s time to move on and let them do so as well.
2. Take it one day at a time.
Once you have accepted that you have to get over this person and this breakup, you have to take baby steps to get there. A lot of people may tell you to, simply, move on, but that usually doesn’t happen overnight. Start by not checking their social media, not texting them every time you feel the urge to, and not trying to run into them “accidentally.” It will be hard, especially if this person was in your life for a while and you’ve grown used to them. But a good strategy is to take it a day at a time. Once you get past 24 hours without doing any of the above or whatever else you proposed to yourself, keep that in mind. When the next day starts getting difficult think, “I was able to do this yesterday (and the day before, etc.) so why wouldn’t I be able to do it today?” By doing this, you are giving yourself a small goal that you can accomplish and moving you closer to the ultimate goal: getting past this.
3. Find ways to fill the hole that is left.
Depending on how long you were with this person, you may find different ways to cope with their absence. This will help wean you off of them in a way that won’t hit you as hard. As the days go on, stop spraying their smell on the pillow and you can, if you want, eventually lose the pillow altogether. If you had plans to do something with them, don’t cancel, simply do the same activity (assuming you can) with a group of friends. Doing this will show you that this person wasn’t irreplaceable, and you will be able to live without them.
4. Express yourself.
A lot of people try to bottle up their feelings after a breakup because of pride, shame, embarrassment, etc, but these feelings need to be expressed in order to get past the ending of a relationship. If you need to, cry, get mad, throw things, cry again, yell, just do whatever you need to get your feelings out. Do whatever you need to do and say whatever you need to say in order to feel better. Watch sad movies, listen to sad music, and find a way to express these emotions without feeling guilty or ashamed. Don’t keep them bottled up.
5. Accept what has happened and know it isn’t the end of the world.
I know that right now this feels like it’s the last time you’ll love, but listen to me when I tell you that you will. You might have lost your appetite, you might have trouble sleeping or be sleeping WAY too much, you may feel unloved and unwanted, but this is not how this ends. You are better than this, and it may sound cliché, but you will get past this. It may take time, but you will love again, and someone out there is waiting just for you. Someone once told me that you have to think of each heartbreak as one step closer to finding who you are meant to be with.
At the end of the day, you have to accept what has happened. You have to be able to get past it in order to continue your life. It may feel horrible now, but these feelings will go away. You will find someone else, if that is what you want, and you will be happy. These tips are just a way for you to help make the process a little less painful so you can move on faster and without regrets.