The 10 People You Meet at Parties as Told by Dogs

You might not see them all at at once, but you'll see them 

1- The one that drank too much: Somehow they managed to drink thirty times more than anybody else at the party. They can go from dancing drunkenly to being passed out on the couch in a cinch.

                  You’ll probably hear them say: ‘I’m never drinking again!’ – likely followed by puking


2- The one that’s an attention seeker: Everyone has to be paying attention to him or her, no matter what. They’ll do anything to be the center of attention, from screaming when someone they know arrives to dancing on people.  

                        You’ll probably hear them say: ‘Aren’t I the best?’


3- The one that’s only there for beer pong: Completely attached to the beer pong table, might not even be attending if there wasn’t one.

                        You’ll probably hear them say: ‘Yeah, can we talk later? I’m in the middle of a shot.’


4- The one that’s flirting with everyone – That cute guy or girl who will flirt with you, your friend, and pretty much everyone else that’s there.

You’ll probably hear them say (and so will everybody else): ‘Wow you’re so attractive, let me get your number’


5- The one that’s fighting over everything – Doesn’t really understand what small talk or light conversations mean. They choose to make their entire night about having strong political or social arguments with other people.  

You’ll probably hear them say: ‘You just don’t know about this enough’

6- The one that’s only there for ten minutes – Most people didn’t even realize the person attended, since they only stayed for ten minutes. Too many events on his or her calendar!

You’ll probably hear them say: ‘Sorry, sooo busy, I have to go to another party’

7- The one that’s match-making – For this person 1 + 1 always equals two (ok, it does on real life – but for arguments sake hear me out.) They see one person alone and they see as an opportunity to add another person, even if they don’t want to or are not interested in the person.

                        You’ll probably hear them say: ‘OMG, I have this perfect guy for you!’

8- The one that’s documenting everything – Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Vine: this person uses every social media outlet to document the party. Taking 100+ second stories on Snapchat, more than 30 selfies for Instagram and one too many Vines.

You’ll probably hear them say: ‘Everyone picture! This is so going on Insta.’

9- The one that’s really shy– They might be someone that doesn’t know a lot of people there or someone that’s just really awkward. You might spot them all night standing and not talking to many people.  

You’ll probably hear them say: *something awkward*

10- The ones that are doing way too much PDA – Ranging from an annoying long-term couple or two people that just hooked-up, they are all over each other…and in front of everyone.

                            You’ll probably hear them say: ‘Is there any private place we could go…?’