From a young age, boys and girls are exposed to specific expectations on how they should behave. Labels and phrases like “macho,” “boys don’t cry,” and “girls are overly emotional” have been used to describe what kind of masculinity and femininity boys and girls should attain. Now, the effects of these phrases are reflected in a concept known as “toxic masculinity,” which refers to the cultural pressure on males to act in stereotypical ways.
The concept of “manliness” is reinforced by toxic masculinity. The belief that males must act tough, avoid expressing emotions, and reject everything deemed feminine by society, is destructive to their mental health and has a negative impact on society.
Toxic masculinity and mental health
The belief that males must always be strong and never show any kind of vulnerability is extremely harmful to their mental health since it causes them to hide their emotions and develop feelings of depression and anxiety. Men are less likely than women to admit when they are vulnerable, and they are also more resistant to seeking help. For example, a UK British study found that general primary care consultation rates are 32% lower in men than women, and consultation rates for depression were 8% lower in men than women.
In 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that 10.6 million adults in the United States had seriously considered suicide, 3.2 million had devised a plan, and 1.4 million had attempted suicide. When the data were broken down by demographics, they discovered that men have a four-fold greater suicide rate than women. Male suicide deaths account for 80% of suicide deaths in the United States.
Traditional male gender norms restrict emotional expression, and males do not think to ask for support because they are instructed to be tough since their early childhood. Men’s mental health is harmed by societal pressures that encourage them to be tough at all times, not cry, and not seek help when they are unhappy. This is because emotional responses are deemed femenine in society, with the common idea that women who express themselves more are “too emotional.” Therefore, they have to be tough at all times, anything else makes them “feminine” or “weak.”
Being man “enough,” in society, requires pushing away your feelings and bottling up your emotions. Putting your mental health at stake is one of the many risks you have to take if you want to be “the man.”
Toxic masculinity and violence
When it comes to asserting control over another, the popular belief that males need to be stronger and more aggressive, especially when their masculinity is questioned, can lead to major anger issues and violence. When these masculinity concepts are reinforced, such as expecting men to be dominating, the probability of boys becoming more aggressive increases. Whenever a man feels unable to live up to male norms, the negative normative pressure that boys endure can reflect as anger.
Masculinity does not have to be violent, but it may be dangerous when men take their masculinity too literally or cling to a restricted definition of “manliness.” Challenges to this male identity might then rise to sentiments of rage, which can later lead to violence.
Toxic masculinity and women
Women are affected by society’s masculinity norms as well. We are supposed to be gentle, delicate, empathetic and kind as women. We’re also told not to be too exposed, not to go out late at night, to carry pepper spray, not to dress too provocatively, to take a self-defense course, not to be angry, and not to speak too loudly. These assumptions that women are responsible for men’s behaviors, that we must control the way we talk, dress, and look in order to avoid provoking men, both normalizes and supports the stereotype that males are innately aggressive.
Toxic masculinity has teached women to run. It has developed a society in which toughness and aggression are seen as attributes that all males must possess to meet gender norms.
Society creates a world in which both women and men have to comply with certain expectations or they are excluded, marginalized and made fun of. It compels everyone to participate in a phony performance in which everyone must follow the lead in order to be accepted. This has had a variety of bad consequences for both women and men, but especially for men, who are pushed to hide emotions that finally manifest as anger and violence. This domino effect ends up affecting women as the men enforce feelings of anger towards the females who don’t fit the stereotype of the caring, thoughtful, submissive and feminine woman.
Fortunately, stereotypes can be dismantled if we all look beyond gender and strive for equality. If we let go of prejudices and start being ourselves, we might be able to create a society where we all embrace our differences and use them to bring us together rather than to tear us apart.