To be honest, I used to think that Valentine’s Day was just, well, pointless. I mean, the whole idea of designating one day of the year to celebrate the fact that you’re not single always seemed a bit weird to me.
From being used to seeing people walk around with those big, red, heart balloons around my school’s hallways, to walking into restaurants packed with couples, and witnessing people hurrying to Walgreens or CVS to get the last heart-shaped chocolate boxes in stock…The first thing that would come to mind was, “Why are all these people so hyped about doing these things today, and not space out such ‘acts of love’ all throughout the year?”
And don’t even get me started on having to swipe through the countless Instagram stories or posts portraying romantic dinners and amazing dates at the beach. Couples trying to one-up each other on this not-so-established competition of who had the best date, who got the best gifts, who has the best significant other, etc. Now, before you go ahead and say that I was just jealous, my answer to that is… can you blame me?
For as long as I can remember, having something to do or someone to see on Valentine’s Day was like a badge of honor. Some sort of accomplishment you should tell everyone about. If you didn’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, it meant that you were:
- Obviously single
- Inconsolably lonely
- A target for pity
So, most of us end up being pressured to walk around with an imaginary ticking bomb on top of our heads, counting down the days until we are fit to be deemed “inconsolably lonely” once again, unless we break the cycle by finding a lover, and, on top of that, having to come back home empty-handed after every single Valentine’s Day while others are parading their teddy bears and Ferrero Rocher chocolate boxes for everyone to see, kind of feels like a defeat.
It wasn’t until just recently that “Galentine’s” became a thing, and even then, we can’t help but still wish we didn’t have to change up the holiday’s name or concept in order to feel like we have a place in its celebration. But, do we have a choice?
Given how Valentine’s Day is one of the most profitable holidays in the year, and it’s very appealing to couples, it seems like it’s not going away any time soon. But it doesn’t have to.
Something I’ve learned throughout the years is that sometimes, the problem isn’t really the event or situation, but rather, how we perceive it. I’m a firm believer that this applies specifically to the celebration of Valentine’s Day. This holiday dedicated to celebrating love can mean a myriad of things for each and every one of us, just like any other celebration. It can be a day to spend with your partner, an opportunity to go out with your friends, a chance to stay in with your family, or even the time you get to treat yourself to some good ol’ self care. It can be anything you want it to be. Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a reason to be sad or feel lonely. You do not need to have someone in your life to have a good time, because even couples can have a really bad time on that day.
Now, I’m not going to come on here and write about how being single is the best thing ever. The reality is, I would love to have a chick-flick type relationship where we get to go out and have fun, and giggle while telling my friends about all our amazing dates, but I’m not going to wait around for that to happen to be able to celebrate V-Day, or any other holiday for that matter. ‘Cause chances are, years are going to go by and I might not get that Disney type love story just yet. I’d rather have some good memories to look back on than nights spent moping around about my love life. What I’m trying to say is, don’t feel like this celebration is only reserved for people who are taken. If you have some family members you’re very close with, call them up and tell them you love them. If you enjoy spending time with certain people in your life, go out with them, and if you absolutely don’t have anyone to hit up, dedicate the day to yourself. Reflect on the ways you can be kinder to yourself and those around you.
So, if you’re single like me, go buy yourself that big bouquet of flowers, rent all the movies you want, make some fresh popcorn and just chill in your pj’s while binging on cheesy rom-coms. No one’s judging. This month, we’ll celebrate love, in any shape or form it takes, even if it’s in the shape of the person looking back at us in the mirror.