Self-doubt is an artist’s worst enemy. Every piece of art created is a portrayal of their own unique idea, something that only they are capable of molding and shaping. Art can’t be up to comparison, and yet, sometimes, there lies a sense of self-doubt underneath that is entirely too hard to get rid of.
I believe that, as artists, we are often too hard on ourselves. I grew up surrounded by amazing, well-experienced artists. I used to look up to them, seeking to someday understand their technique and, eventually, replicate it. My first exposure to art was through observation and constant imitation, which isn’t a bad thing as long as we keep in mind that every artist is different. Such wasn’t my case.
Once I created my first sketch — the portrait of a kid — I began to doubt my abilities and compare myself to others. The drawing didn’t reflect my idealized image of how a child’s face should look on paper. The more I looked back at the drawing, the more I noticed imperfections in what I had just made.
Then, I became more strict with my own artistic works. I began to spend hours and hours trying to mimic other artist’s techniques. However, my goal wasn’t to learn how to create better art, but to achieve the idea of “perfection” I had made up in my mind. Improving art is one thing; expecting perfection isn’t just something completely different, but also unattainable.
I only became able to appreciate imperfections once I stopped searching for them. Once, as a child, in the middle of an artistic block, I drew a bunch of lines from different angles and lengths. As I kept tracing them, I began to perceive an image of a face somewhere in between the lines. Among all the chaos, I found a person. And it wasn’t perfect. The lines weren’t straight nor perfectly curved; the image that I tried to make out of the lines was not as clear as to make it obvious for others to visualize. And so with it came a realization: art is not meant to establish a concept, rather, it is to be interpreted.
I believe the possibility of the existence of a perfect way of creating art is capable of destroying an artist’s originality. If there is a way to make things perfect, then there has to be one specific way to draw a flower, one specific way to paint a cloudy sky, one specific way to write a poem, and one specific way to compose a lullaby. If there is a perfect way to create art, then there is no way to create art that is our own. All artistic pieces would be equal to the next. If there truly was a perfect way to do art, then art would no longer be ours as soon as we achieve “perfection.”
Art is not meant to be perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect line or circle. There is no perfect book, perfect song, perfect drawing, perfect painting. There will always remain a sense of doubt within every piece of art created. The question is whether art could be improved and whether the gap between art and “perfect” art could be closed. However, perfection can’t be achieved. All that is left is to keep creating and, one day, be able to love the imperfections of our works.