Oil and water never mix. Water is held together by hydrogen bonds, and oil doesn’t have any polar parts*. In order for oil to dissolve in water, some of water’s hydrogen bonds must be broken. Water will not allow for its bond to break, therefore oil is forced to stay separate from water. I like to think of myself as water and love as oil. A strange mix that won’t bond because of how different we are from each other, but specifically because I do not allow for my personal “bonds” to open up to the idea of mingling with other people or falling in love.
It’s funny to me how we associate starting to be in love with “falling”, an action that leads to a consequence. For some people, falling, although scary, could lead to someone catching them. Of course, that rescue may lead to a relationship, or something in between that. Regardless of the outcome, falling in love suggests that eventually a hit will occur. In my case, every time I’ve fallen in love (or tried to) I’ve hit…concrete. Although I’m nothing near one, my scientific conclusion used to be that I was clearly stupid when it came to love.
From falling in love with a high school frenemy, someone who used to be my best friend, unavailable people and people who are just not into me, my track record could be something terrifying to see. While I’ve learned something about every interaction I’ve faced I always end up asking myself the same question: Why have I (yet again) failed at the possibility of falling in love?
While there could be a handful of reasons that could explain this particular phenomenon, including my own unavailableness and the people who have tried to catch me after falling in love, I have figured out only one clear statement that may account for my (un)luck: Cuando está pa uno, esta pa uno. In translation, when it’s for you…it will be yours. How true that may be, it doesn’t stop from feeling hurt, lonely and desperate when it seems everyone around you has cracked the code to love but you.
Nonetheless, if anything my stumbles and crashes with love have taught me that not everyone is for you or, specifically, that not everyone deserves to be with you in the first place. To a certain extent, I’m glad water does not allow for its bonds to break. If that were the case, we’d allow anyone to mix with us. Although it has been hard, I’ve come to realize that sometimes we try to settle with love because we are lonely (a completely valid feeling) but settling not only hurts you; it hurts the other party involved.
If you’re single and frustrated with dating or feeling like it’s taking too long to meet someone, I get it. Constantly opening up to people only to get rejected can get frustrating. Just because we shouldn’t be scared of rejection, doesn’t mean it’s something pretty to go through. However, good things in life shouldn’t come easy. Recently, I’ve come to realize that it’s not just being stupid with love (cause I have been VERY stupid with it lately), it’s also knowing I haven’t settled with the idea of love because I’m so special and people that are special should not have an easy time finding love. Ifit were truly easy, everyone would have it.
If you’re so special (which you are) you are not going to have an easy time finding someone to match your energy, because remember: not just anyone deserves you. So the next time you’re feeling down about how difficult dating can be, just remember you’re that special and that’s why sometimes it can be tough. At least you are not settling.