So, I Was Stopped By The Police & It Got Me A Boyfriend!

Love appears in the strangest of situations. You may be agonizingly fighting the universe so it’ll send a lover your way, perhaps you just have to wait for it to come. It may appear romantically; by a touch of a hand or a connection between eyes. You wouldn’t expect it to surge from getting in trouble, but that’s how it was for me.

Story Time!

I have been stopped by the police just once. I committed the most atrocious crime known to men—playing with a Rubik’s cube. I came across the colorful toy when I became friends with a man in my university named Jack. He was fond of puzzles and his sagacity led him to be great at practically anything. I admired the guy if ever perfection would scar a face was on that of my new friend. Hence, I decided to master the Rubik’s cube, just like he did. I practiced every day and in one of our sessions, the police showed up and gave both of us an awkward surprise.

3x3 Rubik's Cube

One day after university, Jack drove me from the University to the Tren Urbano’s Martinez Nadal’s Station. We would park next to my car, lower the windows and comfortably lay our feet on the dashboard. This eventually became our little ritual. We’d have Rubik’s cube solving sessions, though one day the class took about four hours and the night came to visit us. We were entertained, and I was about to be one with the cube, so I didn’t notice a lot of things: like the fact that our car was on and illuminating all the parking lot. I didn’t notice the sudden flashing of blue lights that flickered behind us. Jack was the one who shook my shoulder and pointed to the rear of the car. My heart froze. At that moment I thought that I was the most wanted drug dealer in Puerto Rico. I quickly snapped out of it and remembered that I’m an awkward little geek that hasn’t done anything wrong, so I should be alright. 

Jack lowered the window and waited for the officer’s face to pop in and it did. He asked us what we were doing, to which I, the proud saint that I am, answered ever so innocently: “We are playing Rubik’s cube”.

He answered the most confusing uttering a man has given me. He shook his head, rubbed his hands on his face and said: “Tu crees que yo me afeito?”.

Jack and I kept silence, but finally understood what he meant when he continued talking to us: “These kinds of things are not to be done in here, in this place”.I immediately blushed and answered swiftly to the officer that we’re friends and that we were only playing. I told the truth, but the officer kept going on on how whatever sexual activity he thought we were engaging in was wrong.

He asked us for our ages and stressed on me giving him my age which I guess it’s because I’ve always looked five years younger than what I am. He asked us where we live and that it was dangerous to be around the area because of local assaults.

I mentally lost it when he directed his words to Jack and told him: “This isn’t the place to take your little girlfriend. If you want to have fun there are plenty of motels you can go to. Twenty dollars for eight hours of pleasure”. Jack and I just nodded. There was nothing we could say to stop the officer. Plus, if we tried to say something in our defense it was probably going to aggravate the situation. Eventually, the monologue ended, and the police officer left with a warning.

We liberated all the buildup tension with an explosion of laughter. What followed was a frenzied conversation.

What the does “Tu crees que yo me afeito” even mean?

Was he trying to say “Do you think I was born yesterday?”?

“Crees que soy pendejo?” What a way to choose words.

I never got to finish that Rubik’s cube session.

Man Wearing Black Officer Uniform

Jack walked me to my car. Before I went inside, I jokingly told him: “Well, now you know. If you want to have some fun with me, it’s only twenty dollars for eight hours”. He confirmed teasingly and hugged me goodbye. When I was about to pull back from the hug he whispered in my ear: “Please, a little bit longer” and I stayed.

Looking back, maybe the police officer did perceive something more behind the two deniable teenagers, saw more than two ordinary people playing a game of Rubik’s cube and maybe he wasn’t born yesterday, because if it weren’t for that night I wouldn’t be calling that great nerd, my partner in crime and my love to this day. So, thank you, police officer, for stopping us. I owe you big time.