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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPR chapter.

When did it stop being okay to communicate? How did us, women, suddenly become afraid of wanting things and asking for them?

So, here I am, sitting on my bed on a Monday just going back and forth with my past relationships. Then, after that nightmare, I began cross-checking (mentally, of course) with what my friends tell me about their relationships. I understand, women are complicated. This I know firsthand. We “don’t know what we want”. You want to know what I think? We do know what we want, we just don’t know how to ask for it. We’ve suddenly become these creatures that are afraid to speak louder than a whisper of our expectations and desires. Expectations have become the latest taboo.

For example: Your boyfriend breaks up with you. It hurts more than you could ever imagine. Yet, you say nothing. You’re as quiet as a mouse. You don’t even dare to cry in front of him. You don’t want to seem hurt. You don’t want to seem weak. WHY DO WE DO THIS? When did we become afraid of being ourselves? When did it stop being okay for us to show a weaker side? I blame us, women.

I blame us, because, damn it, I want things. I want to tell a guy “Hey, it’s not okay that you didn’t call”. And we, with our romantic comedies and feminist psychobabble, have changed the way we communicate. We are living in pockets of words and phrases we allow ourselves to say. I’m tired of it.

Let me clarify, I am a “feminist” (I use “” because I’m more of a humanist). I believe in equality, by any means. Equality does not mean we make ourselves smaller. Equality means we should be unafraid of sounding “desperate” and “needy”. Two words created by non other than women themselves, probably with deep seeded self-esteem issues. Damn it, if I want something, I’ll ask for it. How many men haven’t asked me to cuddle? Or asked me to take them seriously? And when they speak, we listen. I WANT TO BE HEARD.

For the life of me, I don’t know when it stopped being okay to communicate, but I damn sure know I’m fine with doing the wrong thing. Wouldn’t be the first time.

 

Pictures were taken from: wordpress.com, telegraph.co.uk, quickmeme.com

Personal style blogger who loves black and white... And poetry.
Suzzette Martinez Malavet is a senior at the University of Puerto Rico-Rio Piedras studying Information and Journalism. She loves photography, shoes, fashion, social media, traveling and exercising outdoors. She has interned at the Capitol of Puerto Rico, Diálogo Digital, Wapa TV, Telemundo Network, U.S. Census Bureau's Center for New Media and Promotions and the Corporate Communication/Sales & Marketing Department of the U.S. Mint in DC, but her proudest accomplishment was in Spring 2013 when she founded the very first HC Chapter in Puerto Rico, Her Campus UPR. Suzzette is currently the Chapter Advisor of Her Campus American University, Marymount, William & Mary, and GW. She is also a returning intern this semester at the U.S. Census Bureau's Center for New Media and Promotions. This 22-year-old woman is the most career-driven individual you will ever meet. If you want to know a little more about her...if you want to know what makes her tick and what inspires her the most...Unlock the mystery by reading some of her awesome articles!