Ever since I can remember, I saw myself as a secondary or side character. I was always the one in the background, the friend, the wallflower…I can think of many other synonyms that resonated with me from the past. I felt like I was always on the sidelines of everything that happened, and nothing really revolved around me. I never would have described myself as the main character because I felt like my purpose in life was just aiding the development of the main character. No, I wasn’t even the main character of my life. Then, one day, I decided that was going to stop and that一I needed to become the main character of my life. Soon enough, I began loving myself after years of hatred towards everything I represented, which helped me become the protagonist of my life.
My feeling like a side character probably stems from being insecure in everything I said and did. I constantly compared every aspect of my life to others’, and always ended up feeling like a failure. I was never the smartest, the prettiest, the most accomplished, nor the funniest. I absolutely hated feeling that way, so when I started college I decided to follow the “fake it till you make it” lifestyle. I was going to be confident, meet people, and be happy. Slowly, I started to realize that I was the one creating my own story, and that I didn’t have to be just like everyone else. Realistically speaking, I was never going to achieve a confident mindset if I compared myself to others.
While gaining more confidence in my actions and words, I took decisions that have helped me become the main character of my life. I got a nose piercing, I dyed my hair pink, and started to dress the way I wanted to without worrying if it would look good to other people or not. I also learned how to crochet and embroider, and I’m currently learning how to sew. I slowly started to love my eyes, my nose, the curve of my lips, and even my stretch marks. All of these decisions worked wonders on making me feel like the badass main character that I am.
I now know that being the main character is a mindset. Becoming the main character is learning to be confident, to be a little selfish, to speak your mind, and even to romanticize your life. Now that I am the main character of my life, I feel so much better on a day-to-day basis. The energy that I give off makes me have better interactions with people. I am becoming what I want with every passing day. I’ve learned to appreciate the beautiful small things that surround me everyday. Honestly, romanticizing my life to help me get in the main character mindset did help a lot. I now take aesthetic pictures or videos of the pretty things in my life, and I make playlists of beautiful music to remind me to never fade into the background again.
Becoming the main character of my life has helped me look at the world so much differently than before. It has helped me learn so many things, make more friends and love (both myself and others) better. Seeing all the things this process has brought me, I hope everyone can learn to become their own live’s main character just like me.