Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPR chapter.

Since I was 15 years old, I realized my biggest enemy to achieving my goals was me. I was so frustrated with the world for always putting me down and this victim mentality leads me nowhere. So after much-needed therapy, I came to terms that I needed to start acting like my own best friend. That bond that I desperately needed with other classmates was something that I could give myself all along. Of course, receiving affection from your peers will always be good but it’s better to not rely on others when it comes to something as personal as your mental health.

Saying college is stressful is, to say the least, a massive understatement. But being in “la IUPI” is another thing altogether. It has a bunch of problems with infrastructure and it’s not student friendly at all. Even the most minimal task can transform into a day-long ping-pong battle between buildings just so they can tell you that they can’t help you. That’s only the beginning, the list of problems is so long that its worthy of a three months strike.

But that’s just life, that’s just our reality. We can’t control what the university or the weather does (thanks, Maria). Actually in this day and age, as a 19-year-old female college student, there’s little you can do. Something I can do is accept that. Accept that things don’t always go my way and perfection is impossible and overrated. Acceptance can be your biggest (and sometimes only weapon) when facing life’s hardships. Then again, it’s always easier said than done. Sure, it sounds nice to just randomly accept things and be your own best friend but it’s actually really hard, so hard it sounds impossible but I’m here to tell you it’s not and you can do it.  

I still find I have a long way to go before I’m my own best friend. But after three years I find that each day I’m more and more like a friend to myself. I realized this personal achievement after I calmed myself down from a panic attack in the middle of a class. I took deep breaths, I kept telling myself it was going to be okay when I could feel my tears forming. “Just take notes so you can review the class and not fall behind. You can do this.” After settling down a bit, I rushed to where I usually meet up with my friends and prayed they were there to comfort me but then a terrifying thought crept up on me “What if they’re not there? What then?” and the tears started falling, my breaths got deeper. But… I noticed I was aware of my fear, accepted its possibility and accepted that I couldn’t control their presence or absence for that matter, however, I could control my breathing. I took a deep breath and started questioning myself on what I thought my friends would say to me to calm me down, what they would ask, what they would make me do, how they would comfort me and that’s exactly what I did.

Since I’m no expert, here is some information on what exactly means to be your own best friend and some helpful tips on how to achieve this: