Of course the idea had crossed my mind before. Who wouldn’t have considered it in our day and age? After all, it’s considered a digital staple of modern dating culture. Dating apps: a daunting experience for anyone. It was truly tedious, picking pictures for your profile, making yourself sound interesting to potential candidates, redacting a bio and much more. If anything, dating apps are a hassle. Purposely putting yourself on a menu for people to look at and deem whether or not you’re worthy of their time. However, you do the same to all the people that show up on your feed, swiping left or right depending on your tastes. Even if it’s all just for fun.
The first person around me who used this particular app was my cousin. She’d tell me about her experiences talking to people and the dates she’d go on. My cousin even wound up making friends through the app and didn’t need to date everyone she spoke to. To be honest, it intrigued me. The idea of just meeting random people through an app designed to match people up according to physical looks and a description written by them. There was really no telling how things could go. I wound up matching and talking with several people, but none of those conversations lasted longer than 2-3 days.
And then…I found her.
It’s not like we started flirting with each other immediately, coming on strong. Rather, we joked and talked as if we’d known each other for years. Everything felt natural and right. Sure, I’d talked to others, but it was different this time around. From the first text, I had a hunch that this wasn’t gonna be just another two-day chat. Thankfully, I was right. We talked for hours over the app’s chat feature, discussing our lives and likes, our families and dreams, you name it. Every notification brought a smile to my face and a blush to my cheeks. For the first time in a while, I felt truly happy talking to someone in this way.
Out of all my friends, I’ve always been the more “promiscuous” friend; in the sense that I was constantly jumping in and out of relationships during middle school and high school. It’s not that I was a serial dater, but more that I couldn’t find something that worked after a stagnant 2-year relationship. Nearly all of those finished with a breakup on my partners’ behalf, and that really hurt me. Later, I found myself in back-to-back toxic relationships. All this to say, my heart wasn’t really in a good spot after all was said and done. To add to all that, I was figuring out my sexuality and how relationships could or couldn’t work for me.
Now, I found myself longing for this person who brought such joy to me. I needed more of this serotonin that I’d been starved of for so long. Our talks continued and a mutual affection grew. Our conversations turned flirtatious and it was clear that we both wanted to meet up. There were times, though, that I questioned whether or not this was okay. I had only known her for about two weeks at this point and we’d met through an app in which there was no real way to confirm whether they’d be the same as their pictures or if they were actually some nut job out to kill me. Ultimately, I determined that these thoughts bordered on paranoia and invited her on a date to a nearby mall.
Soon, one date turned to three and even more came around. It’s been a few months since we started chatting and I couldn’t be happier. We see each other as often as our schedules allow, as college and work keep us quite busy. Despite it all, we don’t let that get between us. Her small hands fit perfectly against mine, lazily hanging between us as we walk around. Their eyes shine when they laugh, an adorable giggle filling the air. Each hug we share has been so charged with emotion that it’s difficult to let go at times. We have pictures together that she takes, because I’m not so great with camerawork.
The best part of those photos is how you see me fall for them a little more with each date. Like a golden retriever puppy, I happily follow where she goes and eagerly listen to their stories or troubles. I want to hold them forever and am even wondering if it would be too bold of me to ask them to be my partner. What we have is truly special, I know, and some people around me can tell. My best friend tells me that she’s never seen me this excited about someone before and that I look truly happy whenever I bring them up in a conversation. My cousins mention that I light up when they ask how things are going.
And to think that this all started because I was bored and downloaded the dating app just for fun…