Do you know what it’s like to feel that you live in a world surrounded by men, whose faces are stamped with the persistent idea that “all men are the same”? A feeling of hopelessness invades your inner-self when you contemplate the negative experiences that have made you believe that. They’ve shattered the solid sculpture of trust that you’ve built for them.
The only thing you’ve ever received from them is a Pandora’s box, filled with the unwanted gift of betrayal. They’ve made you cry yourself to sleep countless times. Attempting to change the way you think about them, you’ve hurt yourself emotionally. Scars will prevail indefinitely in the deepest parts of your heart, because you’ve loved them but they’ve failed you.
From your biological paternal figure to your once-beloved high school sweetheart, men have had a long history of ruining your peace. Repeating the classic and cliché story of the charming, good-looking and smart guy, he used to compliment you, until unknowingly, you fell for him like you never did before. You gave him yourself: your fears, your dreams, your midnight thoughts, your secrets, and your smiles, but he lost them in the glimpse of an eye. You became cold, closing yourself from any possible relationships with them. Who are we to blame your decision without possibly understanding your circumstances?
My intention is not to comprehend you; I will never understand the battles you’ve overcome because of them. As much as I may try to make sense of what they’ve done to you, I will fail to do so. It’s a terrible mistake to believe that one is able to empathize with every single one of someone else’s life experiences. I don’t know how much harm they’ve caused you, but I’m certainly sure that shutting them out from your life because “all men are the same” will perpetuate your generalized ideas of men.
Overcoming this is not an easy thing to do. There is no right way to heal from trauma, especially when caused at the hands of formerly trustworthy male counterparts. Likewise, there is no ignoring the violent patriarchal patterns that remain the social norm and continue to violently damage our lives, but generalizations are a social danger. They contribute to the normalization of stereotypes. Don’t promote a culture based on assumptions. Stop worshipping ideas that have been solidified by prejudices aimed towards the designated bearers of masculinity. Dare to open yourself up, but only to those who strongly demonstrate that they care for you, keeping in mind that you deserve to be treated in the best way possible. You were not born to be afraid of being hurt by men― don’t let that fear paralyze you and stop you from living the life you want to live. I can’t promise you that you won’t be hurt again. But to be able to live, you’ve got to take risks.