Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPR chapter.

I’ve always been a shy person. From a very young age, I suffered, like many kids and teens, from bullying. I was afraid of trying new things and worst of all, I was afraid to be myself. I struggled to get in touch with my inner me—to step up and walk with security. It was not until after adulthood that  I accepted myself and boosted my confidence. Today, many women experience a lack of confidence at work as well as in other areas of life. Society tends to portray women as quiet, simple, or less bold. If a woman is confident, sets an opinion, or isn’t afraid to delegate tasks  she is a witch with a capital ‘B’, or a  ‘ tough woman.’ The world is still not prepared for confident women because it is still raising conformist women. The world needs more ‌leaders, more confident women. That being said, I encourage  to bloom and develop as a strong self-assured woman. Forget what others think and you will succeed in your endeavors. After all, being confident is one of the qualities for success.  

These are some of the things I’ve tried in order to boost my confidenceー none of these being too complicated or extravagant  —just simple little  efforts that will gradually help you along the way. However, every person is different, so some may work for you and others maybe won’t. It happened to me. But the important thing is to try and keep moving. Some days, you will not have energy and your insecurities will blush your skin. This is when you must be strong, wash it off, and block all those negative self-talk. While you are encouraging yourself to be better, you will strive for more and eventually grasp other ideas to develop not only in your personality, but in your career, skills, and more. 

Know your worth 

Most people tend to advise going to a party or dinner alone—but not me. I started simple and easy, by practicing  self-talk. It is very important to use affirmations so that they can retrain your subconscious to believe something new. Block all those bad energies and start talking to yourself and remember that  you are good enough. Repeat it again, and again. Write it down and read it before bedtime. Create any positive affirmation and do it repetitively. It will create new pathways in your brain and train the way you think and act. This must happen first rather than going out alone. 

Image and Wardrobe 

It may sound cliché but ask yourself: Should I get a new haircut? Maybe dye it a new color? How do I look? Do I even like myself? At the end of the day, our hair is one of the first things we change in our transition. It should be normal; women should be able to change looks and cut their hair without being asked “Are you single now?” “Did someone leave you heartbroken?” or “Are you seeing someone?” whenever you’re wearing a new lip color. Women should feel and be pretty for themselves —not to please someone or society. Yet, because it is the first change people see, they might at first comment about it. This is when you ignore them. They will eventually get used to it.  

I cut my hair and went from blond to natural dark brown hair. I’m eating healthy with help from a nutritionist. I got  some new piercings and tattoos because, why not? I have changed my wardrobe —I’m using more crop tops, no bra tops and sexy bathing suits. I am also accepting my body with all my stretch marks, and all this change was catalyzed by me first cutting my hair. Is it working? Yes. Do I feel better? I feel beautiful. Some people call it rebellious; I call it self-love. Remember that taking control of our image is the most immediate change and people will judge on first impressions. Image is our mirror and representation, as long as you feel perfect with your image, confidence will bloom from you.  

Body Language  

There was a time when suddenly I was walking slumped over and bending my back a little. There is a lot of There was a time when suddenly I was walking slumped over and bending my back a little. There is a lot of psychology behind this simple task, it really helped me improve my pose and walk with more confidence. Having a good posture and holding your chest outwards will display an aura of confidence.  Although I tend to forget the chest strategy, it really helped me with my body language and walk with more security. Even when I am not feeling super confident, I know I can fake it with my posture.

Follow your passion 

Develop your interests. What are your passions? Travel, cooking, painting, photography? Relish the interest and skills you have. I enrolled and am currently doing my MA in Literature because I like to write and read. I am also Develop your interests. What are your passions? Travel, cooking, painting, photography? Relish the interest and skills you have. I enrolled and am currently doing my MA in Literature because I like to write and read. I am also considering taking barista classes because I love coffee and enjoy making it every morning. Find hobbies that are compelling to you and enjoy them. Following my passion has helped me to discover a lot about myself, and ignore what others think. 

Be assertive 

To be assertive, knowing what I want and saying ‘No’ are the best things I’ve developed. I learned how to speak up and stand up for myself. It helped to be firmer and more decisive. Knowing what I want traces a path and journey, it makes me happy and confident to fight and unlock all those special talents that were hidden because I was scared to use them or discover them. Saying ‘No’ is even more rewarding, we are not here to please anyone. A strong woman makes decisions on her own terms without compromising herself or her happiness. 

Why is it important to be a confident woman? 

First, the fact that you’re reading this article shows you want to improve your confidence —that’s admirable and attractive. Second, being a confident woman is a work in progress, I know I am still. Lastly, confidence is something that women need to exercise daily, because we have more to offer and the world needs to know that no one will determine our success or how we should feel about ourselves, so embrace it. Having confidence will make you independent, brave, courageous, and for the best part, free. You are free to live the way you want.  

Things I tried to boost my confidence: 

  1. Recited affirmations 
  2. Got my hair done 
  3. Changed my wardrobe 
  4. Went to a nutritionist 
  5. Enrolled MA program 
  6. Eat alone 
  7. Go to the beach and pool alone 
  8. Bought sexy and matching underwear  
  9. Worked to define my purpose, my ‘why’ 
  10. Took credit for my achievements 
  11. Accepted compliments rather than batting them away 
  12. Made lots of eye contact 
  13. Did something I’d put off for a while: tattoos. 
  14. Always be groomed, to work, to groceries, shopping, etc. 
  15. Walk with confidence 
  16.  Started a blog
  17.  Spend time with confident people 
  18. Say no
  19. Enjoy spending time alone, in general
  20. Remain positive

Developing confidence as an adult woman is no small feat. However, it is possible, and trust me when I say that putting in the effort is bound to be worth it in the long run. You just wait, work, and see.

Kirsy Rivera is a graduate student at the University of Puerto Rico (Rio Piedras Campus) majoring in English Literature. Her hobbies are photography, baking, and writing. Also enjoys spending quality time with her son. She strives to fulfill her career in writing and publishing.