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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UPR chapter.

When your history teachers told you that mythology was more of a niche interest, and knowing so much about gods that none believe in anymore was pointless,  they were lying.

If you end up applying and getting into la IUPI, you’ll quickly get enrolled in a  general course of Humanities, you will end up talking about mythology. A lot of the time, the mythology most professors favor is Greek and Roman mythology. You might end up talking about Greco-Roman art and its religious influences. You might have no idea about what everyone’s talking about.

There are also a few occasions in which you hear a IUPI student asking for the Greek gods’ help. Some students find this incredibly funny.  It’s not that weird to hear a person yelling at  Zeus so it’ll stop raining, or praying sarcastically to Athena during an exam. Might as well be prepared, right?

 

The Basics

Before talking about the gods themselves, you need to know where they live, and that place is Mount Olympus. It’s the highest mountain in Greece and it’s totally bougie. The gods that live here are the twelve Olympians and they’re considered the major gods. Hades is also a major god but he doesn’t live in Olympus. All the other gods, like  Persephone, the Fates, and the Muses are the minor gods. Each god and goddess have attributed to them at least one place, quality, ability or thing; the twelve Olympians have a lot of them.

The twelve Olympians have a special category: the Big Three:  Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. The Big Three are the gods in control of the three different realms: The Sky, The Sea, and The Underworld. The gods (and titans and even monsters) often mingle between themselves so don’t be surprised by the amount of incest, since everyone is a family of everyone one way or another. They also mingle with humans and as a result, we get demigods. Demigods are half-god/half-human children. They’re the ones that rule pop culture, like Heracles who is more commonly known by his Roman name Hercules. Apart from procreating, the gods also mingle and influence the wars of mortals.

 

The Twelve

 

Like I explained before, The Twelve are those who have a place on the council and call Mount Olympus their home. There are seven gods and five goddesses:

  • Zeus: He is the king of the gods and ruler of the sky. He’s the son of Kronos, a titan who Zeus overthrows, and Rhea. A prophecy foretold that Kronos would be killed by his children so he vows to eat them as they’re born. Rhea isn’t okay with this so she hides Zeus, the only one Kronos hasn’t eaten and he ends up saving his siblings by defeating his father and sending him to Tartarus. He is also the god of thunder, that’s why you almost always see him portraits with one in hand. He has a ton of children in and out of marriage. He can and will transform into anything. He is a parent of some of the most famous demigods like Heracles and Perseus.
  • Hera: She’s the queen of the gods, goddess of marriage (which is ironic, since hers is a disaster), women, family and childbirth (also funny, since she threw her son from Mount Olympus). She’s the daughter of Kronos and Rhea and wife of Zeus. She swore vengeance against Zeus’s lovers and children.
  • Poseidon: He’s the god of the Sea. He’s the one you should pray if you are going on a cruise, so he remains calm and doesn’t sink in like the Titanic (he tried to kill Odysseus this way, just so you know). He is also the god of earthquakes, storms, hurricane (more like the god of destruction, am I right?) and horses (why we still love him). He’s another one of the six god-kids of Kronos and Rhea and is often portrayed holding a Trident. He’s also a sore loser and has a rivalry with Athena because she won a contest and became the Patron and protector of Athens, Greece’s capital.
  • Demeter: She’s the goddess of Harvest and Agriculture. She’s associated with nature and fertility. She’s the daughter of Kronos and Rhea and is one of the Zeus and Poseidon’s many lovers. After an affair with Zeus, she gave birth to Persephone, minor goddess of vegetation and you know, Queen of the Underworld.
  • Aphrodite: She’s the goddess of Beauty, Love and everything it comes with it (lust, passion, desire and so on). There are different stories about her birth, the most famous one is the one of her being born from the genitals of Uranus. Uranus is the titan of the Sky, and he was mutilated by Kronos (his son) and seafoam (The Birth of Venus). She’s married to Hephaestus but has a ton of lovers and a not-so-secret long-term affair with Ares. She’s the mother of Eros (or Cupid, as he was named by the Romans). She also plays a big part in the Trojan War, since she was the one that promised Paris that she would give him Helana in marriage as a reward for Paris naming her the most beautiful goddess.
  • Hephaestus: He’s the God of Blacksmiths and Fire. Hephaestus is a creator and maker of the god’s weapons (and traps to catch Aphrodite and Ares). He is also the god of volcanoes. His birth is not the most conventional one (but greek mythology is rarely simple). He was created and birthed by Hera because she was jealous of Zeus after him “giving birth” to Athena. He was born ugly and with a limp, so like the good mother she is, she threw him off Olympus.
  • Ares: He’s the God of War. As the god of war, he represents the violent and bloody part of it. From his affair with Aphrodite were born Eros (god of lust, love, and sex) and the twins Deimos (god of terror) and Phobos (god of fear). He’s the father, the mother Harmonia, of the amazons. He’s one of the sons of Hera and Zeus (and in every adaptation of mythology that I have ever read, he is an evil ducker).
  • Athena: She’s the goddess of Wisdom and Just War. In contrast with Ares, she represents the strategic part of the war. She’s the daughter of Zeus and Metis, the titan of wisdom and craft. After hearing a prophecy that the daughter of wisdom was going to overthrow him, Zeus swallowed Metis to stop her from getting pregnant, but he was too late. As a result, from a well-deserved migraine, Athena was born: straight from Zeus’ head, fully grown, dressed, armed and with a scream of war. She’s also a virgin goddess. This doesn’t stop her from helping demigods on their quest (like Odysseus several times through his journey and guiding Perseo in his fight against Medusa). She is also the creator of Medusa (who Poseidon forces himself on in Athena’s temple) and of Arachne. Athena was salty af because Arachne challenged her to a weaving contest and won.
  • Apollo: Apollo is the god of the Sun. Apollo is probably one of the gods with more things attributed to him. Apart from being the god of the sun, he’s also the god of prophecy, truth, healing, diseases, poetry, music, art, dance, archery, philosophy and whatnot. He’s the son of Zeus and Leto, a titan. Like his father, he had a ton of lovers, and some not always wanted him. He is the “father” of the Oracles, those who give prophecies. It’s also said that he assisted Paris with the arrow that killed Achilles in the Trojan War.
  • Artemis: She’s the goddess of the Moon and the Hunt. She is the twin sister of Apollo. Contrary to his brother, Artemis is the god of chastity, as she promised not to get married and remain a virgin. She’s also the protector of wild animals and girls. Like his brother, she carries a bow and arrow and gives him a run for his money (she is a true badass). She’s also named god of childbirth after helping her mother give birth to his twin.
  • Hermes: He’s the messenger of the gods, God of Thieves. Hermes is the god of anything communication, commerce, and travel related. He’s also the trickster god. As the emissary of the gods, he can enter any realm (like the Underworld, to communicate with Hades and Persephone). He’s often represented by sandals with wings. He always carries a staff (caduceus) and, nowadays, it’s the symbol of medicine. He’s also the son of Zeus and the Pleiad (daughter of Atlas, the titan that holds the world) Maia.
  • Dionysus: He’s the god of Wine and Madness. Another son of Zeus with another unusual birth. After being deceived by Hera and convincing Zeus to show his true form, a pregnant Semele (a mortal) dies and Zeus saves their son by sewing him to his thigh. Like his sister Athena, he was born fully grown out of his father’s thigh. Originally, his place on the Olympus was Hestia’s, the virgin goddess of fire and home and the older sister of Zeus, who grew tired of all the fights and gave up her seat to her nephew.

Hades

 

 

The King of the Underworld is often named between the Olympians. Like the others, he’s considered a major god. Hades is one of the six children of Kronos and Rhea, which makes him a brother to Zeus, Poseidon, Hestia, Hera and Demeter and one of the original gods. After drawing the short stick, he gets stuck with ruling the Underworld. He’s not part of the twelve Olympians, as lives and spends most of his time in the realm of the death (probably working his butt off trying to maintain everything in order, since everyone ends up dying). Apart from being the god of the dead, he’ss also named the god of riches. This is probably because most of the precious metals were found under the earth.

More often than not, pop culture (and Disney) portrays him as a villain, he’s fair and tries to maintain equilibrium within the death (he’s a cinnamon roll). So unless you are trying to escape the Underworld (or trying to get in while alive), he won’t go looking for beef with you. He gets married to Persephone after kidnapping her from her overprotective mother (Demeter) and fooling her to eat seeds from a pomegranate. She would have to spend one month for every seed she ate (she ate six). While she is with her mother, the earth and crops thrive, but once she goes back to the Underworld, everything dies, creating this way the four seasons.

 

Most mentioned in la IUPI

 

We Iupitenses have taken mythology like a security blanket. What better way to survive university life that relying on someone as dysfunctional as us? (Because don’t let anybody fool you, that’s what the greek gods are: dysfunctional). So don’t be creep out if suddenly you hear someone talking by themselves, they are probably talking with one of these:

  • Zeus: We speak of/with Zeus when we want to blame someone for something. “This is all Zeus fault” is not a weird thing to hear while walking through the hallways. Your computer fails you halfway through doing an essay? Blame Zeus. Didn’t have time to study? Blame Zeus. Is raining without any reason and your shoes now are soaking wet? Yep, that’s Zeus. We find life easier if we blame him instead of blaming ourselves. If someone compares you to Zeus, don’t feel flattered by it, because the person is probably comparing you to his tendency to fudge up and run around (because let’s be clear Zeus is the OG fudgeboy), not his mighty powers.
  • Athena: We speak to her during tests and due dates. She is the goddess of wisdom and is known for helping heroes, so might as well help us struggling students. So when we are asking for Athena to guide us, we are not quoting Wonder Woman, we just don’t want to fail that test.
  • Apollo: Apollo sometimes turns the sun to a hundred and won’t let us live. So yes, instead of being a rational person and say “oh wow is sunny today” we just say “Apollo stahp!” while trying to block the sun with our hands.
  • Eros (Cupid): True story: once, while walking out of class, I was asked by a stranger, if I believed in Cupid. I don’t know who the person was, because I gave him my response and he walked away saying “Oh Cupid!”, but he made my day.
  • Mnemosyne: The Titan of Memory is a somewhat obscure reference. While I have never heard anyone other than my self name her, you should all do. Who better to help you during a test than memory itself?
  • Hades: The god is a walking debate for everyone. He is the god of the dead, but is he evil? I have heard discussions about it while walking through the Humanity buildings. I have had this discussion with some of my friends, and my answer will forever be the same: he is a cinnamon roll.
  • The gods: We often thank the gods when we pass a class or test. So if your professor is handing out your papers and you hear someone thanking the gods, you know now who the person is thanking.

I hope this helps you be less lost in your class or between your peers. Yes, we may look a little crazy while speaking about mythology and gods, but it seriously makes a conversation way more fun. It’s also useful to know that sometimes we don’t stop at the Greeks, because some situations need other gods, like the Nordic or the Egyptian. So don’t let your curiosity stop here and go do more research, in… well, everything.

Alana is currently in her fifth year, studying Comparative Literature in the UPR Río Piedras Campus. She loves books, superheroes and mythology. Will sing any song that she knows (even if she can't sing to save her life) and is always tired. She dreams with someday writing a book.
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