Behold! One of the greatest debates in the college dating scene: Is it better to find a partner in your own faculty, or are you better off looking around other parts of campus? I’ve taken it upon myself to solve this dilemma (or try to) once and for all. And before you guys come up with any funny guesses, no, I’m not going to magically date two guys in one month to see what dating someone from my faculty and someone from another faculty might look like. That would be both a headache and an impossible task, so without further ado, here I present to you the opinions of two fellow UPRRP students that find themselves in the aforementioned situations. One of them is dating someone in her own faculty and the other one is dating someone from an entirely different one. They both share the pros and cons of their respective situations, along with their final verdicts.
Dating people from your own faculty
Nice support system
Dating someone from your own faculty means you’ll have someone that knows what you’re going through, can help you out with your classes, and share their study resources with you.
“I’ve been able to help him A LOT since I’m older than him. I’ve been able to offer him counseling on college per se and the classes he’s currently taking. We also share study guides with each other.”
More quality time together on campus
If you study in the same building as your partner or dating interest, you’re bound to see them at least once a day, and if you’re lucky enough, your schedules might end up matching up.
“UPRRP is a relatively small college compared to colleges in the states. And the ‘space’ is even smaller when most of your classes are in the same buildings. Since my boyfriend and I take very similar classes, we tend to cross each other’s paths multiple times a day so I always get to see him on campus. We also try to match up our ‘free periods’ so we can hang out at campus.”
More empathy
Since your partner has gone through the things that you’ve gone through, especially in the emotional aspect, they’ll be more than happy to help you out with basic tasks when you’re tight on time.
“Luckily, he understands what I’m going through and the stress that I’m under. When I have a ‘hell week’, he’ll come to my house and help me around with chores.
Dates at the library?
Study dates might sound dreamy to some, but when these kinds of dates become repetitive it’s right about the time that it can become a problem too. Especially if you’re in a time consuming BA, chances are that you and your partner will be having library dates all the time, which might get monotonous and kind of suck.
“We’re both on the premed track and our classes require a lot of focus, study time, and commitment. We don’t actually get to go on as many dates outside of college as we’d hoped to. Most times we just end up doing study dates at the library”.
Final verdict
“This sort of thing really depends on the people involved. My boyfriend and I actually don’t talk too much about our studies. We do enjoy talking about our research experiences and extracurriculars though. We also discuss how our classes are going but we don’t really make it our go-to topic of conversation. We always try to do things outside of class and campus per se to sort of separate our relationship from anything academic related.”
So, in a nutshell, dating someone from your own faculty can create more empathy and connection because you already have things in common and they can relate to you emotionally. Interesting! Let’s see what our other counterpart has to say.
Dating people from a different faculty
Zero competition = No hard feelings
Coming from different faculties prevents room for comparison between you two when it comes to academic and similar extracurricular performances. It avoids the toxicity that can come from an unintentional competition with them.
“There is no competition. They just don’t get anything that you’re doing. I’d say it makes for a very healthy relationship. If you fail a class, you’ll never wonder if they would’ve done better or worse than you.”
Different college experiences
As you might have guessed, coming from different backgrounds can lead to a lack of understanding of what that person is going through academically and hence, personally. Academic life is basically the basis of a college student and being in different channels with your date on these terms can be a bit unamusing.
“They don’t get how difficult the things that you’re doing may be. Specifically, if you’re on the pre-med track. My boyfriend is mature and he supports me. He tries to understand me and he gives me my space, but at the same time, only a person that’s actually going through the same things you are, can understand how you feel and the pressure you’re under, and all of the things you have to do on a daily basis”
Final verdict
Dating someone outside of your faculty can be a breather from your degree and it allows you to learn about new things.
“I think it’s better to date someone outside of your faculty because you don’t always want to talk about the things that you study. I feel like when I’m with my boyfriend I can talk about a variety of things that have nothing to do with the things that are driving me crazy. If I was with someone in the same faculty as me, I wouldn’t stop talking about how things are going with my studies. In my relationship, there simply is no room for comparison.”
My opinion, presented by me (Ana): being none of the above
After talking to both of my friends and seeing both sides of the coin I’ve come to the simple conclusion that for a relationship to work out, it’s not a matter of having the same academic interest or not, but rather having the same values. And no, two people don’t necessarily have to live the same life and have the same background in order to share similar values. It’s all a matter of finding the perfect puzzle piece that fits perfectly with you, regardless of which faculty you have to wander to or end up in to meet that special person. So, the reality of this dilemma is that there is no right answer to the question of dating or not dating someone from your faculty. There is no Yay or Nay. It all depends on how you deal with the situation and how you guys manage both your differences and similarities.