One day, as I scrolled mindlessly through Instagram Reels, I saw an interesting video showcasing this new game made by President Studio, the same indie developer that made Power Wash Simulator, a cleaning game.
The narrator of the video detailed that in this first-person game released on August 14, 2024, you play as Kovalsky, a janitor turned into a crime scene cleaner for Big Jim’s mafia. You need to get rid of any trace of the massacres in different locations before the police arrive. In return, you get handsomely rewarded with money, which you need to afford your daughter’s medical bills and pay for better equipment. As someone who loves short time-crunch games, it instantly caught my attention.
I love cleaning, and I’m especially fond of relaxing games where tidying up is the main goal. Much like in real life, the satisfaction of seeing a place cleaned up after all my hard work is unexplainable.
This was an impulse buy of mine because I was bored on a random Friday and I saw it was on sale, I knew it was a sign. I completed it in less than 20 hours. Crime Scene Cleaner is truly an addiction because of how satisfactory the cleaning is, even if it is under unfortunate circumstances.
Trigger warnings for this game include blood, gore, death, mentions of murder, and weapons. In other words, as the title implies, this game is not for those who do not like gore.
It’s important to note that I absolutely hate horror, and I stay away from the genre altogether in any type of media. Unfortunately, I was not aware of the eerie reality of Crime Scene Cleaner. I knew that I would face death, blood, gore, bodies, and murder weapons, but I was not prepared for the dark and unsettling setting of every single crime scene. Despite the horrifying stories, it’s an oddly relaxing game, until it isn’t.
I can’t even watch fiction with a lot of bloody content (I’m looking at you, The Boys), but I was somehow able to stomach Crime Scene Cleaner.
Beware Of The Haunted House’s Creepy Secrets
My primary criticism of this game is the use of mannequins as a scare tactic. Genuinely, I was not aware I was so afraid of mannequins until I played this game. Overall, Crime Scene Cleaner is very humoristic with its achievements, puns, and absurd secrets, but it holds a darker side if you have a keen eye.
The first appearance of a mannequin was off putting. It was during the fourth chapter out of 10 and I was confident in my cleaning skills. I was convinced that nothing would jump at me because this game does not have moving characters. However, the creators still found a way to make the atmosphere uncomfortably horror-like.
The story behind this haunted house chapter initially explains that the deceased family’s neighbor wanted to drive them out, and so he used technology to make them think the house was possessed. What the man did not know was that the family was extremely religious. The mother went on a mad killing spree, murdering her husband and son before committing suicide.
As an illegitimate crime scene cleaner, you are tasked with eliminating the traces of the dead family. As you clean around the house, secrets are unveiled, such as a hidden room behind a wall with a painting of a man whose face disappears when you look away, and bloody cat prints that appear on the ceiling. As soon as I saw the new substance above my in-game head, I started freaking out, but the worst was yet to come. If someone says this is not a horror game, do not believe them. Believe me, your local scaredy-cat.
If Mannequins Are Your Clowns, Run Away
On the second floor of the house, there is a filthy storage room with an old TV playing static. I had to dispose of the evidence, and it was the only place on that floor with a water source, which I needed to clean up the blood. When I reached a closed locker to pick up a hidden speaker, there lay a mannequin head with red eyes. I instantly cursed it out and threw it on the floor.
Minutes later, while I was trying to forget about those horrible red eyes, I found a rubber ducky. I turned my gaze to the table in the middle of the room and there it was. The same mannequin’s head was under the light, staring at me. Never have I ever left a room so fast.
That was not my only encounter with a mannequin. In chapter nine, while cleaning up a massacre in the staff-only area of a museum, mannequins would appear in different places at different times. I would turn a corner and there it would be, watching me. My hands could not stop shaking, and the entire time I was sending the mannequins to hell.
Before finishing the chapter, I tried to find all the secrets. One of them was a puzzle that took me to a secret room with a katana. It all looked completely innocent and I was excited.
It was a terrible mistake to pick up that weapon, because it became my nightmare incarnate. Mannequins with red eyes appeared behind me. They protruded from mirrors on the walls and stood menacingly in the middle of the room. The music was intense and terrifying. I had to defeat them to get out of the room. It was at that moment that I knew that if I quit the game, I would have to do it all over again, so, almost with tears in my eyes, I hesitatingly faced my fears.
This is the horrible mannequin room where you have to whack them with a katana.
President Studio, you are evil.
Final Thoughts
I will refrain from spoiling more chapters, but no other chapters were scarier than four and nine. The rest are fairly easy going and fun to clean up. The physics in this game when it comes to throwing bags and bodies are hilarious. Even Kovalsky’s monologues were funny, lighthearted, and made me feel less wary in the darkest of rooms.
My Rating
All in all, I rate this game a 4.5/5. I truly enjoyed it, and I would love to play through it again, but probably not in the next few months, since I recently completed it. I’m a completionist at heart, so I do want all the in-game achievements at some point. Now that I know there are no jumpscares (and that there is a setting to make the game screen brighter), I will be doing a second run. I still don’t know if it classifies as a horror game or not, but I felt too scared for it not to be. Nonetheless, the many humorous moments balanced the creepy parts.
If you enjoy dark and weird cleaning games that will keep you busy and at the edge of your seat for hours, Crime Scene Cleaner is for you. The game is available on Steam, Apple Store, and Google Play.