The day-to-day life of a college student is stressful. It’s filled with assignments and chores, classes and evaluations, and it’s hectic and scattered at times. We jump from one responsibility to another. This means that we don’t always give our relationships the time they need. It’s important to take a moment to remember that we’re social beings and, as such, need time to dedicate to others and ourselves.
The moments we take to reflect on our relationships, and how they’ve gotten us to where we are, usually aren’t the most appropriately-timed, in the sense that we seem to be unable to take the time and the attention to assess and ponder over our own relationships. But rather, these reflections appear when we’re in the middle of studying for that big midterm, and we wonder: ‘’when was the last time I went out?’’ Or when you’re on your way home, thinking about the next schedule you have to get ready and think:’’ gods, I really do miss the beach.’’
When we’re so focused thinking about the professionals we want to become, and the road we ought to take in order to get there more efficiently, it can be easy to neglect our need for interaction and, in the process, accidentally isolate ourselves from the people we love and care for. It is then when the moment for reflection becomes necessary, and the need to take action is imminent.
Relationships, like everything in life, require work, time and effort. They require energy investments, proper time management, and priorities. And like most things in life, it begins with oneself. Because, after all, in order to work on our relationship with others, we must first be aware of who we are, as a person, and how we look to interact with others, as a friend.
Introspection and connection with oneself is certainly a tricky thing, getting to know yourself is strange because we must learn to not hide things from ourselves, and forgive, in order to approach the world without judgment or pain from past scars. This begins with taking a good look at ourselves, and understand which key aspects tip the scale when treating others – and ourselves – differently. We can only overcome that which we know, and, of course, the pain it brings might not be kind, but it is temporary. This, I suppose, is where the scale tips, you cannot want to love others, without wanting to love yourself.
After identifying the different aspects of oneself that need to be overcome, it becomes a matter of compassion and radical honesty with oneself. After all, you’re the only one that knows what you’ve gone through, and your pain is your own. The very realization that you are own safety net allows for the creation of a safety net composed by peers, family, and friends; people you don’t need to depend on but are of help in times of need. This safety net, these relationships, become a real-life reflection of what you see in the mirror every morning. After all, it all begins with you. Your life, your experiences, and your choices help make you every day.
And so, before asking yourself if you’re doing well with your friends and family, take a moment to check in with the most important person in your life—yourself. And re-evaluate the ground on which you stand, and whether or not it is the right place for you. It is only when you enjoy taking time from your daily responsibilities, for your own pleasure, that you’ll be able to enjoy taking time out for others. Because, inherently, taking care of yourself is taking care of your friends, and taking care of your friends, is taking care of yourself.