When it comes to moving forward, whether it’s from current plans or a past lover, we must remember that to move on, we must first let go.
In our efforts to avoid and/or delay painful regrets and stumbles of our past, we have a natural tendency to develop attachments to said events, and re-play in our minds, like a broken record of the late ’50s. It’s within these replays that we begin to string tales about how these events define our lives, our identity, and shape the new version of us we hope to display to the world after we’ve been hurt, beaten, and torn.
Perhaps, it’s the loss of your last love, and how, within the whirlwind of magic and hope, it leads to sadness and heartbreak, and you vow not to be hurt like that again. Or maybe, the disappointment in your reflection, after your peers have shunned you for it, and you vow not to be pariah again.
It’s within these moments, and the pain they bring, that we hold on tight to the feeling of who we weren’t, and are determined to let that define who we are from this moment forth. However, it’s precisely in that choice, that it’s inherently implied that we do not let go of the pain. And it’s with the tight grip on our memories, that we confuse numbness with lack of pain.
Once that numbness is recognized, the power to move forth comes with the face of a choice, understanding, forgiveness and letting go or casting it from existence, as if it had never happened.
Casting hard moments aside is, indeed, the easiest way to begin moving forward. Inherently, because it lacks the process of a more profound understanding than just “this hurts”. Without that understanding, it becomes more of a detachment from what used to be a reality, and moving forward means moving on in spite of what has happened.
Understanding and forgiveness bring with itself a different story, inherently because it brings with itself a process of analysis and introspection.
Finding your stance with whatever has caused your pain is difficult at best because it demands attention and focus. It demands to be hurt and to be felt, but most of all, it demands to be understood. It’s only when understanding arrives, that acceptance and forgiveness follows because you have made your peace. It’s at this moment that moving on means moving forward because of your growth.
And so, this Spring, remember to keep in mind that healing beings with understanding, and with understanding, comes peace.