Are You Getting What You Deserve?

Have you ever been consistently invested in building on the expectations of other people? I have… sometimes, we commit our body and soul to others, but don’t notice that the commitment and attention isn’t being returned.

In any type of relationship, attention, empathy, and commitment are key pieces for the bond to be strong and lasting. Many times, one of these elements is missing, and although the others are there, that “something” that isn’t present affects the relationship.

We tend to cling to people: family, friends, or our partners. We hold on so tightly that when we notice the lack of commitment and attention from them, we refuse to accept the reality of what’s happening. Instead of loosening the loop little by little, we hold on even tighter, not even realizing that we hurt our souls, and break our hearts. It’s like trying to keep a fish alive out of the water. 

And it is in that moment when you begin to notice that lack of communication, affection, and love, and proceed to ask yourself… is this what I deserve? Do I deserve to give everything to someone who doesn’t appreciate it, who doesn’t see the effort I’m making to continue the relationship? Do I deserve endless nights crying because I notice that my “magic person” isn’t who I thought they were?

No. You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve someone who doesn’t know what they want; a friend who’s only there when good things happen; a partner who tells you a hundred times that they’re going to change yet repeat the same mistakes regardless of how you feel; a relative that won’t take even five minutes to get in contact with you… you don’t deserve anyone who doesn’t reciprocate what you give to them.

Yes, the thing about life is that you give without expecting anything in return. But this doesn’t work in relationships. You don’t dedicate love and devotion to someone and not expect anything in return; you don’t give attention without expecting at least a minute of that attention back; you don’t trust someone who doesn’t trust you, and you don’t give everything to someone only to beg for scraps.

Of course, there are times that we have to state what we want because not everyone is a psychic that knows everything about us; but there is a thin line between asking for something and begging for it. When you ask for quality time and you don’t receive it; when you ask for attention and they don’t give it to you; when you ask for empathy and they don’t make an effort toward it… when you ask, and ask, and ask but don’t receive anything… that’s begging. Within a relationship, that is not okay.

We know that people have priorities and responsibilities that don’t include you and they deserve to take time for themselves whenever they want to, but you shouldn’t have to beg for time, attention, empathy, or love. I’m not saying that people have to rush towards you whenever you ask for something, but if time passes and you keep asking without receiving a response… that’s your response. 

Don’t beg for anyone nor anything. Next time you ask yourself “Is this what I deserve?” and the response is no, do something to change it, and sometimes that might be letting people go. Even when it’s one of the hardest things to do, you’re going to feel fulfilled when you look back and see everything that you have done since you chose what you truly deserved.  

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