Working at a retail store is not an easy feat. The hours are long, the pay is not enough, and when you think 5 minutes have passed, you realise it has been 1 minute since you looked at the clock. And let’s not start on Black Friday. But that is another topic for another time. For now, let’s focus on one of the worst parts of retail: The customers. In retail, you see every type of customer in the world. Some are nice, some are mean, and some deserve to be placed in the seventh circle of hell. Okay, this is an exaggeration (Or is it?). All joking aside, they aren’t a piece of cake. Think of them as a pimple that no matter what you do to get rid of it, it comes back with a vengeance.
Now, like it was mentioned earlier, there are many types of customers, but which one is the most annoying? Here are the 5 most annoying customers in retail:
-Coupon Girls: Also known as, “Las Cuponeras,” these are the women who use coupons as many times as they can so they can pay less than 10 dollars for items they won’t use for months. They sometimes appear with one or two coupons. Which is fine, unless you are in a cash register where coupons are not accepted, and the one that does is not being used. These ladies make their full appearance when the stores announce that for one week only, the coupons are doubled. Lord, give us strength. It’s like Christmas for these women, and they have it down to a science. They bring lots of items to the cash register and divide them. The cashiers scan only 5 items, they give them the coupons, and they end up paying less than 10 or 5 dollars. In a way, it’s understandable; the economy sucks, so they must do what they can to save money. But buying lots of things for what?! To keep them in storage for months? Years? It’s insane. If you want to see them in action, watch TLC’s “Extreme Couponing.”
-Old Men Who Think They’re Young: Also known as “Viejos Verdes.” These are the men who apparently see themselves in another age when they look in the mirror. They think that they are still young and handsome and able to flirt with any woman they see. Some of them are cute in their approach, because let’s face it, some old men are gentlemanly and adorable. They remind you of your own grandfather and how they would always say that you would be a heartbreaker when you’re older. But there are other old men who simply make you cringe. They even wink, suggesting something more than what they’re saying. And all the while, you have to smile like nothing’s wrong, as if you’re flattered by their attention. Oh, how the lies just grow.
–Cellphone Users: These customers are truly annoying. When you work in Customer Service, one must be able to provide the customer excellent service. How can that be done when the customer is on they’re phone the ENTIRE time during the transaction? Really, it’s rude and disrespectful to the cashier. And it’s awkward trying to get a word in to the customer while they’re yammering on to God knows who. And the funny thing is, that after the transaction is completed, they come back demanding why they were charged something too expensive. You know, that could have been avoided if you weren’t on your phone. Unless you are talking to President Obama or Chris Evans, hang up the phone!
-People With Zero Patience: Depending how the cash register is working, or how much energy the cashier’s have, determine if the line at the register is fast or not. And some people have the patience because they went out only to shop and are understanding. While others… apparently never learned the word “Patience.” They’re angry, demanding, pushy, and with a resting-bitch face to match Victoria Beckham’s. “Can you please hurry up? I’m in a rush,” is their usual phrase, treating the cashier like dirt. The cashier smiles while deciding what to do next. There are two options to deal with these certain types of people: Do the transaction as fast as possible so they can leave, or do it as slow as possible (It helps if the register is just as slow). Either way, seeing them leave is a huge weight off the cashier’s shoulders. Until the next No Patience Specimen shows up and the cycle begins all over again.
And finally, the most annoying customer in existence:
-“I demand to see a manager!”: These are the Voldemort, the Sauron, the President Snow of retail. The customers who find even the tiniest little thing wrong and complain, complain, complain.
“This isn’t the price I saw!” “This is on sale! I saw it” The cashier tries to explain them the procedure, but they don’t understand or don’t want to, and they start demanding. First, they demand to see a supervisor. If the supervisor doesn’t give them what they want, they demand to see the manager. Now, this can go both ways. Either the manager gives them what they want, within reason (Here it means cold, hard evidence) or they don’t. And all the while, they treat the cashier like trash, as if they are smarter than them. But once they leave, it’s like the storm passing at last. And thankfully, the next customer is usually understanding and they treat you nicely. Honestly, after facing the Death Eaters and the armies of Mordor, one deserves Butterbeer or a good ale from the Green Dragon, or kind words. Whatever they can get.
Customer service, in general, is hard, and sometimes it makes you want to run for your life. But like everything, it has its good days. When these customers show up, however, just smile like it doesn’t bother you! And in your mind, tell them to go where the sun don’t shine! If you don’t this, you’ll one day do something you will regret and end up unemployed. Just think of yourself as the Harry Potter of Customer Service and that these obnoxious customers are Dementors. Your Patronus is your smile. If not, just imagine them without clothes and you’re good. Unless it’s the “Viejos Verdes,” which you’ll probably be scarred for life.
*I do not own “Extreme Couponing”, Harry Potter (I wish,) and Lord of the Rings. Credits to TLC, J.K Rowling, and J.R.R Tolkien.