Picture this: You’re at a party, surrounded by beautiful people who happen to share some of your interests—or maybe not. Perhaps they’re strangers, but it doesn’t really matter. The point is that you’re sitting alone wondering “how come my definition of pretty is not the same as other people’s?” and “why does that affect every relationship (and perhaps, every conversation) I’ve had and will ever have throughout my life?” Well, this is where concepts like “girl pretty” and “boy pretty” come into play. Their constant social rivalry has had an enormous effect on stereotypes and our self-esteem.
Retrieved from Pinterest
Before I go on rambling about this, let’s take a moment to define these terms. First of all, what’s “girl pretty”? Easy, have you ever had a deep and meaningful conversation with your friends that goes like, “OMG, you’re SO beautiful! Any guy who cannot see that is a LOSER and is DEFINITELY missing out!” If you’re like me, you’ve heard this pep talk a million times. Even my mother has said this to me at some point. And that is exactly what “girl pretty” is. Basically, it’s just when one girl deems another girl pretty and/or attractive. And oftentimes, it’s wonderful to feel that sudden surge of femininity, beauty, encouragement, and empowerment you crave and, possibly, need.
However, there’s another concept that goes hand in hand with “girl pretty.” It’s the cherry on top because it’s the missing link to understanding and contextualizing this concept better. May I present to you the concept of “boy pretty”? This term (just like “girl pretty”) stands for when a guy deems a girl attractive. Nonetheless, as you read these two definitions you can possibly identify a change in tone, because, being called pretty by a girl doesn’t have the same weight and connotation as being told you’re pretty by a guy, and I can attest to that. Being told you’re pretty by a girl is associated with solidarity, girlhood, and friendship. Meanwhile, being told you’re pretty by a guy feels motivated by superficiality and aesthetic, often sexual, appeal.
Retrieved from Pinterest
In summary, “girl pretty” vs. “boy pretty” represents the conflict between what men and women find attractive. This comes with a number of heavy gender-related weights that can lead to the urge to not only satisfy or meet the feminine traits that women find attractive but the ones that appeal to men as well.
Now that we have put into perspective what both concepts mean, let’s clarify that under no circumstance are “girl pretty” and “boy pretty” associated with a person’s actual value and beauty. Bruno Mars said it best, “you are beautiful, just the way you are.” Yes, let that sink in. Society has tricked us (and failed us) into believing that we must change ourselves to meet everyone’s standards.
Both of these concepts come from our socially-driven insecurities. You are not ugly and you, most likely, know it. But these concepts weigh in on our decisions and self-esteem way too often. It’s time to free ourselves from the stereotypes that have reigned over our lives for far too long. However, we must understand that forgetting comes with its challenges as it doesn’t mean that we won’t feel remnants of our past insecurities, but we mustn’t let that stop us.
I sure as hell know I’m beautiful–inside and out. But sometimes I crave validation, like we all do sometimes, and that’s not a bad thing. Humankind is driven by constant validation and recognition, that’s how we learn and manage life’s challenges. However, having your life defined by mere concepts our society has created is no way to live this short but beautiful life.
Let’s embrace ourselves; for we shine our brightest when we are ourselves. Our beauty shall be dictated only by us. Yes, we may want the recognition, but we don’t need it.
I firmly believe that our time to release ourselves from society’s expectations will come because all good things come to those who wait. Of course, the wait is tiring BUT, when the time comes, it will present itself in the most unexpected, surprising, fantastical, and lovely way.
Retrieved from Pinterest