There are things that come with a long-distance relationship that are unspoken. You always hear about how hard it is, the trust that goes into it, and how it’s difficult to see one another. This is all true, but it’s a lot more than that. Long-distance is prioritizing your time to include your significant other in your daily life. That could mean phone calls, texts, and even facetime calls. It’s compromising when you don’t see eye to eye and this, of course, comes with all relationships, but it’s harder when you’re long-distance at times. It’s easier for tension to build and miscommunication happens more often. I know all of this because I am in a long-distance relationship. It’s tough at times, but I know it’s temporary. I also know that COVID-19 isn’t helping the situation because we can’t fly and visit each other.
One thing that is unspoken is how to go about certain problems when one person is an extrovert and the other is an introvert. They both have different needs, yet both of their needs are totally valid. I didn’t know this could become a problem until it did. Another thing that is unspoken is going to bed upset. I am the type of person that hates going to sleep with an unresolved problem/argument, but sometimes you really just need a night to cool off. You end up going in circles and nothing gets resolved. Although I don’t prefer this, I know it is needed from time to time in order to come together again with a new attitude. These are all things I have gone through and learned these past seven months of my relationship.
Just as there are negatives, there are of course positives. One of my favorite things about long-distance is coincidentally the distance. This doesn’t mean I want to do long-distance for years to come, but for right now it is good for both of us. These are our college years and we are enjoying them as much as possible. I am able to spend all the time in the world alone or with friends and he does the same. At the end of the day, we have each other and we know what we mean to one another. I know if I were in the same city as him, I would be putting him before friends at times. Another thing I think is unspoken is the excitement of each phone call or facetime. Each call is meaningful because that is the only quality time you get.
I know long-distance doesn’t work for everyone and it also is not meant for everyone. I also think when you find someone good, someone you don’t want to lose, it is worth all the little fights, the long night calls when you have to be awake early, the countdowns to the next time you see each other, and the tears when another goodbye comes. In the end, it’s temporary. Once you come together and the distance is gone, you realize just how strong the relationship is. Personally, distance gets hard as I am very extroverted and my love language is quality time, but I wouldn’t change anything. This is a relationship I refuse to give up on because I know it will be so rewarding and soon enough this distance will be gone. If it’s not gone by the time we’re aiming for, hopefully COVID-19 will be gone so we can at least travel together or visit one another more often.
To those in a long-distance relationship, hang in there and don’t forget to communicate. More importantly, don’t forget to comprehend each other. Communication, comprehension and compromise are the best tools for making it work.