It’s taken me a while to process the sudden loss of Kobe Bryant because of how much it affected me. It still doesn’t actually feel as though he’s gone. As I woke up Sunday morning and scrolled through my socials, reading about his death was the last thing I expected. Shock and disbelief were the first two emotions than ran through my body as I struggled to find any further confirmation that the crash victims included Kobe Bryant. The rest of that day was such a blur, leaving my body feeling numb.
I was born in Pasadena, California and my family has always loved the Lakers. Shaq and Kobe were my favorites, and although I never played basketball myself, watching them play when I was younger was so inspiring and they gave me hope that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Bryant was my ultimate favorite; I had his jersey when he was number 8, watched his games every time he played, and even had his action figure. My mom tells me that I carried that action figure everywhere when I was younger like it was my partner in crime.
As soon as I heard the news, I wanted to call my mom, but I couldn’t, knowing that hearing her voice would break me and make me realize even more how much I love and miss her. After learning the fact that Kobe’s daughter, Gigi, was also in the helicopter crash, made the task of calling her even more difficult.
Admiring Kobe from such a young age has strengthened my ties to California and my love for basketball. Kobe Bryant was such a central figure in my family’s lives that losing him felt like losing a family member. In the immediate week after his death, I had to stop using social media because his face was everywhere. The latest Lakers game had fans coming from all over, paying their respect, musical tributes that had me in tears before a note was even sung, and the seats that he and his daughter Gigi would sit were left empty in memory of them.
I thought that crying and mourning over a stranger, let alone a celebrity was weird, but Kobe Bryant had such a positive impact on my life, it felt as though I lost someone close to me. People have different grieving processes and mourn over different things, so respecting that process is essential for moving on.
My heart and loving respects go out Vanessa Bryant and her family, as well as the families of the other crash victims. Rest in Power Kobe and Gianna Bryant, Christina Mauser, Sarah and Payton Chester, John, Kerry, and Alyssa Altobelli, and Ara Zobayan.