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It is so easy for us to get attached to someone who can become our world in three seconds. We can look at this person in their eyes and surpass every bad trait about them because of how beautiful they are. This can be the best or the most damaging trait for us – especially when it comes to relationships. It is when that person you admire the most then becomes the person you once knew. Here are some things to remember when going through this little bump: 

Value yourself 

Despite what the situation is, always remember to know your worth. If that person hurt you in the worst way possible, then they do not deserve your valued love. If you are strong-headed, then you already know the drill – it's time for the next caller! However, if you're anything like me and want to always see the good in people, it's going to be a bit harder for you. Ask yourself these questions: Did they give you a reason why they hurt you? Is that reason the equivalence of who you are as a person? Do they understand how much they hurt you? It is very normal to question yourself to see if you are the reason for their actions. To answer that for you, no. You are perfect and whatever they did has nothing to do with you. Their actions are a small reflection of how they possibly view you. You do not hurt the people you love, so why would they hurt you? Always put yourself first because, at the end of the day, these are your emotions.  

Now, I understand every situation is different. Sometimes a second chance is a possibility for the two of you. If this is the case, make sure to set your boundaries. What happened the first time WILL NOT happen again. You are at the top of the kingdom hierarchy and you are valid to want to be treated like it. This does not mean to be gifted with materialistic items, but with a love that no one else can give you. If this person is not a big fan of the idea, then I think its time to reconsider the decision. You are not a pair of air pods that can be bought as many times as you want. You are worth more than the Mona Lisa – not even she can pass your worth.  

Don’t Overthink 

Alright, I am telling you to not do the one thing that will literally bring you down as a person in thirty seconds. Overthinking will drain every bit of your body, so let's not do that to ourselves. In situations like this, it is best to just leave it in the hands of life. Let life give them the consequence they deserve for their actions. All you need to do is sit back and watch like the royalty you are. Trust me when I say it feels so much better-knowing someone out there is unconsciously giving them the treatment you almost did. You do not deserve that type of negativity in your life anyway! 

Forgive and move on 

This one is much easier said than done, but you gotta forgive. I know some of us are rage hoarders, but at some point, we need to learn to adult. We are no longer petty highschoolers – plus, it makes you look like the [much] bigger person. Once you are able to forgive the person, your world will feel so much brighter! Just do what you need to do to forgive – no matter how that looks like to you. 


Overall, taking care of yourself after a hard breakup rather between your significant other or your friend of many years is very important. Your mental health is at a vulnerable state of mind and sometimes it needs a little more attention than usual. But what hurts you makes you so much stronger as a person and that’s guaranteed. You deserve to love yourself more than any other person in this world! Even if that means taking yourself to get a pedicure to process the situation. You got this, just remember to take care of yourself.  



Hello! My name is Paula Maria Frade and I attend the University of North Texas. I am a first generation student with my dad being from Mexico and my mom growing up as a migrant worker in South Texas. I am a double major in Political Science and LCEP (Latino, Culture, Economy, and Policy) and with my majors I hope to one day start in my community and fix the education system! Who knows where I will go from there, it is only the beginning. I hope to inspire other first gen students with my writing and possibly learn something knew as we grow together! Thank you for the read, Paula Frade
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