Nicole Rafiee, aka NikkiNasty, is slowly taking over lifestyle YouTube one iced-coffee at a time. Having just turned 21, Nicole has already built up a supportive and loyal following of over 300k subscribers, started a podcast, and has even been a special guest panelist for multiple events. I had the fantastic chance to talk to Nicole and discuss her last semester in college during a global pandemic, life as a YouTuber, and who inspires her to do her best.
Tell us about yourself?
“I am a senior at Temple University. I’m a Media Studies and Production major. Um, and I’ll be graduating this December! And, on top of that, I am a full-time content creator, mainly on YouTube, but I am also on other social media, but it’s just not my main focus or anything.”
You’ve fallen into this unnamed niche of YouTube where your variety of content has made you unique. I know you don’t like to call yourself an influencer or want to be called a “college YouTuber” so how would you identify yourself?
“My main thing, on my YouTube channel, is– I consider myself– I struggle to put myself into a genre, like, I’m not a vlogger, I’m not, like, a commentary channel, so I would say I’ve just come to terms with being a personality channel or whatever people want to perceive me as. I just make content bi-weekly and I’ve been doing this for two years now, but it’s been something I’ve been doing since I was 8 or 9, on and off. And I’m definitely not a college YouTuber. I consciously made the decision early this year that I am going to try my best and stray away from college-related content because I know a lot of other people love it, and I like making it and everything, but I’m also really worried about the transition when I do graduate.
“This is something that I want to continue doing and I felt like that if I continued with college-content, it’s going to be a big let down for my audience when that disappears. And I don’t want to be one of those YouTubers, many years out of college, making “high school hairstyle videos”, and that’s cool if you want to do that, but it’s just so not me and not genuine; so I quickly made the decision. I also didn’t want to be the spokesperson for my university and a lot of people kind of saw me as, “Should I go to Temple?” or “I just had to go to Temple because of you” and that just scared me so much because I never wanted– I chose the best parts of my college experience, and what I chose to showcase, I didn’t want that to ever influence or not influence someone to go to my school.”
What made you want to start youtube?
“So I remember the first day I ever found out what Youtube was. I was in the 4th grade and this girl next to me was like, “Yeah! There’s this really funny channel and there’s this person named Chris Crocker online and they make these videos. He made this video about crying over Brittney Spears and everything saying, “Leave Brittney alone!” And I was like, “What is YouTube??” And they were like, “It’s where you can watch videos and stuff.” I just thought that’s crazy and I immediately went home and got hooked.
“Back then there weren’t that many personalities yet, it was like 2007, 2008, but slowly more personalities started to show up. And I would say the biggest influences that made me want to start my channel, at that young age, was like jennxpen and Supermac18, like very OG YouTubers like Ricky Dillon and that entire squad. And then time progressed and then there was O2L and just all of these different groups started happening and I just got so hooked. I completely stopped watching television and only watched YouTube and I was watching Webkinz content because I was big into Webkinz back then. So we had webcams in the house and I was like, “Mom, can I play around with them?” and I’m pretty sure she was skeptical with what I was trying to do but she let me make these fun little videos and didn’t let me put my face on the internet. So I was making Webkinz-related content for a while, then I deleted that channel. It was so embarrassing but so wholesome to look back at now. Then I was in middle school and made skits where I did show my face and I was really proud of those videos! I really, really put my heart and soul into those skit videos…and then people at school found the videos and I got embarrassed so I deleted that channel.
“But then I started again the summer before my freshman year of high school and then the football team found it so I deleted that again! I just always loved having a camera and I loved entertaining, but I hated the concept of people in real life knowing. But I’m way more comfortable on the internet than in person I find. So it wasn’t until I went to college and I wasn’t doing any majors that I loved, I wasn’t in any clubs that I loved, I was just simply going through the motions. I didn’t have any creativity in my life anymore and being so creative in high school but having it ripped away from me in college, I felt like I was lacking. So I felt as though it was time again, time to start back up, and this time I didn’t delete any of my videos! So it all worked out and it finally felt right. Not to sound too cliché, but it felt like I was coming back home and coming back to my roots.”
As a YouTuber, do you feel any pressure to keep up a certain image?
“I would say yes, especially more recently. If you would have asked me a few months ago I probably would have said no, but I feel like more than ever now there is pressure. And it’s funny cause I’m recording a video today about feeling the pressure and stuff about YouTube. While I love and just want to do whatever I want to do, I realized that with that comes expectations of me. Something that I’m extremely hard on myself about is responding to people and like supporters and stuff because I know how much it means to me if someone I really enjoyed on YouTube responded to me. So to see people get upset or angry in my DMs that I won’t answer or that I didn’t see their message, that really hurts me because the last thing I want is to have people think I’m above them or that I’m at this level where I can’t reply anymore.
“At the beginning of this year, when I reached 100 thousand subscribers, I responded to every single DM. I was sitting on my phone for hours doing that and doing nothing else. And it came to a point where I was like, “It isn’t healthy for me to read every single thing and then reply to every single thing”. Even if something is a positive comment or a positive message, it’s still not healthy for you to like consume every person’s opinion on you whether it’s positive or negative. It’s too — the human brain isn’t meant to handle a lot of hate or a lot of compliments. It’s just weird! And so for me to respond to every single comment isn’t healthy for me anymore and I feel this immense amount of pressure to keep people happy and not disappoint people. I want the person that I am in my videos to reflect the person that I am in real life.”
Are there any videos you regret posting or wish they went differently?
“Yeah, oh God, I can even– like I’m just going through my page right now. Yes, there definitely are some videos. I have only taken down a handful of videos and the reason for that being is that I didn’t think that they were my best work. Like I didn’t think that there was anything in them that was so embarrassing, I’m just embarrassed because the content just wasn’t that good, it wasn’t entertaining, it was rough, I did this because of a trend, and this isn’t up to my standards. So I’ve only deleted a handful of them.
“Um, I think a video that I really regret is, and I mention this every time I’m in an interview so I feel like it’s going to bite me in the ass one day; my most popular video which is “A Guy Answering Questions that Girls are Too Afraid to Ask”. That video helped me so much in growing my channel and I would not be in the range of subscribers…well who knows? Like any other video could have gotten big, but that video was an idea that I took from TikTok, and I never claimed that it was my original idea, but I definitely do think I made that idea popular on Youtube because now it’s a trend to do these videos. I regret it because I didn’t think much of it. I had less than 10 thousand subscribers at the time or maybe it was already, but it wasn’t the amount that I have today and I was just like, “This is going to be a fun video! My guy friend is coming over to see my roommate. Let’s just make this video.”
“And I didn’t think that the questions in there would hurt the people that would watch it. I had no idea that over two million people would see that video. So it just breaks my heart to see girls in the comments being like, “Well now I’m even more insecure” because of some of his answers. Ultimately, that is my fault. I chose to make that video. I chose to put questions in there. I chose to put those answers in there and the last thing that I want is for someone to feel insecure based on my videos. That is the complete opposite of what I want to do with my videos. It wasn’t very “on-brand” of me and it was fun, but I don’t think I would have regretted it if it didn’t get so big, but I regret that it reached so many people that made them insecure.”
Would you ever make a video to address your regret or your issues with it?
“Yeah! I made a video called “What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Million Views” or something like that. And I addressed it in there and I apologized. Nobody asked for an apology, that was genuinely me. That’s just not me and that’s not my content. I don’t film with other people on my channel. That’s something I don’t generally do and I have not since then. Sometimes I’ll have a friend in a vlog “pre-Corona”, but that video is almost a year old and I have not had many people on my channel since. And that’s pretty intentional. I like working alone. I never really liked having other people in my videos because I’m more myself when I’m alone. It was the first video that I did with another person and the first video to get over a million views and it just happened that it made other people not feel too good about themselves and that makes me sad.”
Are there any YouTubers that you’re inspired by?
“Growing up, I still liked jennxpen and she’s awesome! I will always say that she is the person that sparked my interest in YouTube. Hannah Elise went to Temple and she transferred, but we were friends because we had a mutual friend, and she started YouTube like almost a year before me. We initially talked about it in the dining hall over disgusting grilled cheese and said, “We need to do YouTube again!” She did American Girl doll videos and I did Webkinz videos and we both said it needs to happen. We were both missing that part of our lives and we were both in STEM majors. And now we’re both not, but she decided to start before I did and it changed her life completely. Now she’s so successful and so she’s a big inspiration of mine in terms of actually pushing me to do it. I love Conan Gray, and he doesn’t post anymore, but his storytelling really inspires me. Right now, ur internet mom ash, I love her videos so much. Bestdressed, in general, her editing style is beautiful. Those are, and I think I mentioned all women, cause I usually watch all women YouTubers. It’s mainly women YouTubers that inspire me more than anything. I don’t watch that many male YouTubers, to be honest.”
Looking back at all of the accomplishments you’ve made and your success on YouTube, what advice would you give your 15-year-old self?
“To be honest, I would tell her to, first of all, not to be so hard on herself for not knowing what’s going to happen with college and everything like that because being a first-gen college student and not having anyone really help me through the process in my family was tough. They’re immigrants and they didn’t go to college here but went to their own form of schooling. I would just be like, “Relax. It will work out.” School wise, it will work out, but in terms of YouTube, I would tell her don’t start early, start exactly when you are supposed to. It gave me that time to actually be a kid in high school. If I had the workload that I have now in high school, I think I would have missed out on so many fun experiences in just being a kid. I loved working at Chipotle and I loved being an RA and I don’t think that if I was an RA I would have been at those jobs. Those kinds of things shaped me into being a hardworking person so I’m happy that I had the traditional upbringing up until I got to college and then I was like, “Alright! I’m going to go on a bit of an alternative route and not necessarily have a “normal person job” and have a more creative job.” So I think I would have just told myself to stick it out and wait. And to stop caring about what other people think.”
(Image by Alesan Aboafahe)
So you’re in the middle of your last semester in college in the middle of a global pandemic. What has been the hardest part about taking courses online?
“I hate breakout rooms on Zoom! I hate them so bad! I hate them! But you know what, the people are so nice but it’s so awkward when you’re the only one with your camera on and no one is answering. That’s happened so many times when I like ask a question, “What do you think about this?” and it’s dead silent. And I’m like, “You know what? I’m turning off my camera too!” And I just feel so much discomfort because I didn’t like group work to begin with and I was like, “Cool! Online school, no more group work!” But no! Cause they’re also trying to incorporate it and I think that’s one problem with me being an only child and being independent, hating group work. Also, I don’t know why, but when we had traditional schooling, professors were just so organized on Canvas during the school year, but now they’re just like, “Well everything’s online, it’s right there” and I don’t know why everything is so disorganized. Like why do I have to search for my homework in the modules sections, why is it just not in assignments?
“So I just feel like there’s this huge level of disorganization. I feel for them; the professors are just doing their best, I totally get it. I am just confused like it could have gone a lot smoother. I feel like the remainder of the spring semester ran smoother than this is. So I don’t know. I enjoy being home and I’m kind of used to being at home and everything and I’m enjoying my own space, I mean at least in my parent’s house. I’m enjoying the parts I didn’t expect to enjoy but I’m just excited to be almost done because I can’t do online school anymore. My head is going to explode!”
What has been your favorite activity during quarantine?
“You know what? I struggle with this. I feel like I came to a certain point where I was like, “Damn, I haven’t picked up anything that like other people are doing.” Some people are working out or some people are making rugs. That’s a new thing that people are doing and I want to make a rug suddenly! I kind of regretted not starting something from the very beginning so I can master it over quarantine. I did get a Switch in the very beginning to play Animal Crossing because Animal Crossing was my favorite childhood game. I would be lying to you if I said I picked it up recently, but that’s just because I’m too afraid to go back and find my island being destroyed and the time commitment. But anyway, that’s so dramatic. First-world problems.”
“But you know what, I’m going to say cooking. Cooking has been– I thought I didn’t enjoy cooking getting into college, and then I taught myself how to cook. But if my mom heard that she would kill me; she technically taught me how to cook. I would just do the basics all the time, but now I feel–I went on a grocery run yesterday and it was primarily just for me because of my dietary restrictions with my food allergies and everything, and that was just like the highlight of my entire week. Just getting vegetables, which I never thought would happen, but that was so exciting!”
If it weren’t for COVID, where would your dream summer vacation be?
“Ooo! My dream vacation! I’m going to say I love hiking. So I feel like right now, especially–oh no! I was going to say Oregon. Ok! So if the wildfires and Covid did not happen, I would love to hike through Oregon. Wow, that was really not good timing! If not Oregon, somewhere with a lot of trees and really good air.”
You are a big advocate for eco-friendly products (as we all should) and you are a vegan. Would you ever consider creating an eco-friendly brand?
“It’s funny that you mention that! I have two things that are coming out in the next few months that are both very eco-friendly, well more eco-conscious. I have something from another brand coming out. It’s something through another company that I’m working with to create a product. They’re a very eco-conscious brand, which is super awesome. Their workers are paid really well, which is the only thing that I wanted. But I am very excited about that because what’s coming out is very me and when people see it they are going to go, “That’s obviously Nicole! Nicole would make that!” And I have another thing that’s more of a “home-grown” project type of thing so I’m not outsourcing from anywhere and that has the environment in mind. That is one of the top priorities. The second would be workers being paid fairly. I want to expand in the future and create more things and I don’t want to make products just so that I can throw them out there and make money off of them. I would rather–there’s too much in the world out there and the last thing we need is more YouTubers creating more products that are not good for people’s wallets or the environment.”
(Image by Nicole Rafiee)
If you could live the life of one celebrity right now who would it be?
“I’m like completely blanking on everyone that I’ve ever been obsessed with. It would likely be, if he were still alive, Prince. I feel like he lived a very beautiful life and was just very iconic. And that word is so overused, but it’s true! I think I would have wanted to live through his life in 1984, which was like the peak in his entire career, well maybe not the peak but a very fun year for him. I would have just loved to be a little rock star!”
What does women’s empowerment mean to you?
“First of all, it needs to be intersectional. You cannot uplift other women if you’re being like, “This woman I’m going to put on a pedestal, but this woman, not so much.” So that’s just one of the most important things for me. Going off of that, being able to uplift women around you as well as women that you don’t know and that don’t directly affect your lives. I think a lot of people have such tunnel-vision focus and being like, “That person’s life doesn’t affect me” or “I don’t know how that person’s living”, so I think that it’s important to have all women in mind when you think about women’s empowerment and not knocking other women down when they’re being successful. And that’s something I’ve been coming to terms with, like someone else’s success is not going to take away from my own. So I just want to stop being so quiet sometimes or silent or jealous and to just be happy for other people.”
Who’s your biggest influence and why?
“If we’re going real-life people, I would definitely say my mom. She is badass and has taught me everything I know, cooking included! But she’s awesome! I love seeing how she handles her entire life like comedy, with humor in mind and with grace. And just being very real as well; she doesn’t hide things when something is going wrong. She’s just a great influence on me. And then celebrity or influencer wise, Claudia Sulewski because I am always obsessed with her and I have to mention her. She’s just a very big role model for me since I was very young, so it’s cool seeing this Polish woman, coming from Polish immigrants, thriving in her life, and just being a go-getter!”
What is the greatest challenge you think you’ll face as you step into the “real world”?
“I think for me it is letting go of me not being a child anymore. I think like mentally–I came to that conclusion last year. And it’s just so crazy as 21-year-old thinking, “I’m old”, but I think I am going to be young for as long as I think I’m young. So I think for me, it’s going to be difficult that I won’t have excuses made for me anymore. If I mess up, no one is going to go, “But she’s just a child!” and I think that’s going to be tough for me. I’m scared because what if I mess up on my taxes? I’m planning on moving out in the next few years and I’m like, “Oh my god! Insurance!” and stuff like that. I think that I’m nervous about officially not being excused as “but a child”.”
(Image by Nicole Rafiee)
Follow Nicole on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw8_yg1camlWnYfX_0tfECw
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Instagram –> @nicolerafiee
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Twitter –> @nicolerafiee
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Podcast→ “Talk Nasty to Me” available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts
Image Credits:
- Cover by Lauren Frank
- Track photo by Alesan Aboafahe
- Nicole standing outside by Nicole Rafiee
- Nicole in her room by Nicole Rafiee