I’m scared to ask you to do things with me. I’m scared to put myself out there and talk about myself, because I don’t want you to take the parts of me you enjoy, then leave. I don’t think my heart could handle you growing bored of me, deciding that I am not worth the stars and that you’re going to find someone else. Too many times people have taken my love, thanked me immensely, then decided they didn’t want me any more. I gave them what they wanted, and they were bored, so it was time for something else. I am not your stop at a train platform before you get on, heading to a new city. I am a destination, not a pause. Yet still, I hold myself back from you because people see me and try me on for a week, then decide the dress on the next rack is better.
I am a human being. I don’t exist for your comfort, for your manipulation, for you to toy with. Too many seconds of my life have been wasted on people that drained me and then moved on to something more exciting. So if you don’t think I’m fun, or a future, or even someone you can tell your secrets to, I need you to tell me. I ask for you to tell me. Because I cannot – will not – waste happy moments on you. I am comprised of contradictions, and overwhelming feelings, and so many thoughts. So if you aren’t interested in sitting with me at 3am, telling me the story of every injury you’ve ever gotten, I need you to tell me.
Because I find love in everything. I will do my best to make you happy, because I believe that nobody deserves to feel they are unwanted. And so many people have taken advantage of the fact that I will put myself on the line just so they can take what they need. So don’t you dare let me fall in love with the shy way you smile at me, then decide I’m not good enough and leave. I don’t deserve to be treated that way, and you should have the conscious not to do that to anyone.
So stay for a while. Maybe forever. But don’t expect me to wait for you if you leave.