Can you have comfortable conflict with your homie?
You’re like, “All conflict is uncomfortable!”. Okay, obviously conflict is never a walk in the park, but it is important to be able to talk about uncomfortable things with someone you spend a lot of time with. It is unfair to you and your homie when you don’t share your real feelings. Conflict is meant to be scary! Try to remember there is no bravery without fear and in 2018? We’re being brave, okay!! If you do find yourself unable to confront your homie, that probably just isn’t the homie for you, homie.
F is for friends who do stuff together:
Ask yourself and try to note in future interactions with your homie, “Do we have fun?” Obviously, it is important to be able to vent and discuss difficult issues, both personal and worldly, with your homie, but everyone needs a little time for laughter, high fives or whatever you think is FUN! And if you think venting and discussing difficult issues is fun, ask your friend if they think so. Use the word “fun” when asking, and respect that answer, son!
Who’s askin’ the questions here??:
In conversations try to keep track of who asks questions. The goal here is to come out pretty evenly for both you and your friend. A true healthy friendship will have two invested people who care about each other and want to see growth in the other person. Try asking yourself questions like: Do they talk at me or to me? Are they laughing at my jokes? Are they asking questions? Do I feel comfortable to speak my mind kindly?
Then make a judgement call.
If you’re a bra, I’m a bra:
Is homie your bra?? We all need a homie with the support system! Whatever your issues are, make sure that you’re able to discuss them to some capacity with your homie! It’s always a good idea to diversify your sounding board for your issues. Make sure your homie can be included in that group at least sometimes. Also, your friend should never insult your physical appearance or anything else that can’t be fixed in a matter of seconds at all. Even if it’s played off as jokes, it’s unsupportive energy and we don’t tolerate that!
WYD:
What do y’all do together? Its a pretty quick sign of an unhealthy friendship if when you interact together you do unhealthy things. Yes, that includes abuse of drugs and drinking, but also can include binge eating, self loathing, excessive ranting and complaining to each other. The list can go on, make sure you guys are growing together, not constant sitting around farting… but a little of that can be cool.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self:
Finally, make sure you’re following these rules too! A homie-ship takes two— respect your homie and treat them the way you expect to be treated! Always feel comfortable to address issues in a friendship, your real homie will respect your courage! Remember to try not to stress because friendships come and go, and that can be a sign of growth shawty!