It is hard to remember what it is to feel free
gap-toothed, heart-on-sleeve children
running from the world towards our own happiness
seeing things in rainbow and light and wide-eyed gazes
the only sorrows understood were the dried up worms on the sidewalk after a storm and
the scrape of skin from reaching too high, wanting too much without even knowing it
a heart not yet in a cage and it is wonderful
Often now all I see are shades of gray.
People are cruel, the world harsh
and I can’t run from it any more than I could before,
but now I see it and all I feel is gray.
I do not feel free, but I can try to remember what it is like.
When it’s sunny, I sit outside and take in the warmth of the light,
During the rain, I stand under the clouds in rainbow rubber boots, letting it soak me
not caring about my clothes sticking to me like a second skin,
I take care of potted plants, feeling the dirt between my fingers and glow at the life I’ve grown,
I know now how high I can reach but sometimes I go higher than I should
to get that joy that I didn’t know I missed.
I am not free, but I can feel it sometimes when I am who I used to be.