I’m afraid of many things
Bugs are the first thing to come to mind
then sudden loud noises
slamming doors, raised voices and the like
knives I suppose
and pain of course
But then what?
What fears are ever present yet unacknowledged by my own mind
or known but not spoken?
There is the idea of loneliness and loss
That the ones I love would be taken from me or leave,
seeing me as not worth it to stay
I fear that I am no good
a false front of good deeds and good thoughts
that will crumble in the end and show nothing but this shadow I feel I am
My fears are than just these thoughts though
They are the feeling in my chest
the horrible tightness that steals my breath
forces my heart into a thundering race that I cannot win
In the end I can offer no solace to myself
by knowing these things
All I can have is the strength that I hope comes with living with this fear.