I hung from the hopes that placed me down.
I saw familiar faces in this strange town.
I passed around my mock-up grin.
Until it drowned me into my darkest sin.
Broke bread at the dinner table.
Yet, they never saw how I became unstable.
It began once or twice a week.
My throat became tight until I couldn’t speak.
The same hand that wiped the tears,
Is the same one that gave up after six years.
Five months passed by and I was ashamed.
Hating what I felt because it couldn’t be tamed.
I gave signs to my companions.
Warnings of being my own assassin.
When I go too far,
All that’s left is the scar.
Help is helpful until it’s blind.
It’s helpful when it’s not declined.
The weapon knows when to taunt me.
When my mind won’t rest,
I tell myself I’m doing my best.
Recognition and rejection is what saves me from me.
Another golden day comes, and I know I am free.