Remember being in K-12, thinking these times with our friends would never change, and that the moment would last forever? Well, college hit that nostalgia like a yellow school bus real quick when we all realized that things tend to go differently when we get older. Suddenly, everything changes, and it can be hard to balance all the school work, clubs, and new friends with hometown friends that you still care for deeply.Â
I’m here to tell you: you are not a bad friend for starting your life as an adult, and not being able to reach out as much as you used to. At times, we may feel like we have to make everyone happy and that if we don’t, they aren’t going to like us, but that simply isn’t the case. Real friends will understand that you’re busy, not because they think you don’t have time for them, but because you are starting a new life in a new environment.Â
Now, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to reach out to your hometown friends. If you still consider them to be close to you, the relationship still needs to grow, or else it’s just complacent. For me, even though I don’t talk to my friend every day, I still try to make the effort to check up on her whenever I have time, and vice versa. Just send a quick text, give a call when you have some free time, or even just plan a hangout when you both get out of school to continue to keep the friendship at its course.
I’m not telling you to give energy to old friendships that don’t serve you anymore. With some old friendships, if you’re not the one to reach out, they would have never done it at all. So, take the friends that still want you in their lives and let the others move on with theirs. Remember that it’s normal for friends to come and go, and it’s okay to grow apart. Don’t let those types of old friendships hold you back from the new ones you will make in this chapter.
A friendship is something that should be natural, and nothing that is forced to keep. We should want to keep the friendships we have, and if they are just moving on, then we need to move on as well. I feel happiest when I call or text my friend from home, and it is the same friendship that was left. There’s nothing fake about the interaction; it’s all just normal, like we never left home. When you are stressing out about a friendship, ask yourself, is it forced or is it a genuine friendship, and am I just busy? Â