If Dogs Used Social Media

We often wonder what our pets are thinking. Especially dogs. They’re balls of energy and they love playing ball. But as much as we may understand them, we don’t know everything. So here’s a few things I think we would see if dogs ran their own social media accounts.

They would inevitably talk about their encounters with the humans:

 “Do they want the ball or do I want the ball more?”

The would review that places they’ve pooped the way we review restaurants and vacation spots:

“ **** would poop here again.”

They would post lots of selfies and pictures with their human:

“Felt floofy, might delete later.”

They would talk about the terrible outfits their mom picked out for them as a kid:

“Mom human used to put a big yellow coat on me to go outside when I was a pup. #PuppyProblems #GlowUp”

They would post pictures of things they’ve chewed on:

“I think this was the humans slipper at one point. Smelled sooo good. Hopefully they still think I’m the goodest boy.”

They would brag about their spa day:

“Went to the groomers today. Got a new haircut and she did my nails for free. #GoodHairDay #SpaDay”

And of course, they would talk about the horrors of the vet.

“I hate going to the vet. One minute it’s who wants to go for a ride and the next minute it’s scary needle time.”

We may not really know what dogs are thinking, but it’s fun to try to guess. Maybe our dogs would act just like us on social media, maybe they would use it for true good purposes or maybe they would spam us with pictures of bacon and tennis balls.

I’m sure one day in the future we’ll be able to understand what our furry friends are thinking, but until then I’m just going to keep following peoples accounts they’ve made for their adorable pets.