Her Q:
I’ve had a crush on one of my best guy friends for over a year now but he has always been in relationships throughout that time. We’d hook up now and then and he always tells me how he’d much rather be with me but he never takes the initiative to make that happen. Now he’s finally single again and we’ve been hanging out a lot and it’s been great so far but I can tell he still has feelings for his ex. It seems like I’m always going way out of my way for him but he never returns the favor to make something happen between us. I don’t want to be the girl that he can have whenever it’s convenient for him but that’s how it’s always been. I’ve been trying for him for so long that I would hate giving up now… but should I?
His A:
Dear ‘Not That Girl’,
You are being ‘that girl’ and letting it happen!!! I’m going to use a crude alcohol reference for this situation. Now I am by no means saying that you are Hawkeye (vodka), but you are letting yourself be perceived that way. He is out there hunting down his bottle of Grey Goose while you are coasting under his wing in case he gets thirsty and his top shelf brand is not there. You are the one going out of your way for him, practically jumping off the bottom shelf into his arms yet he is reluctant to even reach down and pick you up. Sounds to me like it’s time for some rebranding. Next time he comes around, shooting you those ‘lets hang out’ texts as he always does, you put HIM on the bottom shelf. He won’t see you up top until you see yourself there. Then, maybe then, give him the time of day.
Sincerely,
Vodka Enthusiast