When we find ourselves at the end of a calendar year, it is normal to have mixed emotions. November and December often signify a time for change and celebration. This includes the annual family gatherings you SO look forward to (insert sarcasm here). Please understand that I love my family. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. I feel blessed for the family I have, and I’m extremely grateful. However, the routine conversations, same-old jokes and expectations can get boring relatively quickly. While this may seem harsh during “the most wonderful time of the year,” I am also a huge advocate for self-care and awareness. Part of this self-awareness is knowing when your reactions to those around you are no longer serving you. I hope you will be able to cherish your time with family more after implementing one or more of these tips that have helped me.
Take Breaks When Necessary
Occasionally, you may find yourself in conversations that make you feel irritated or uncomfortable. As silly as this may sound, the bathroom is one of my favorite places to take a step back and cool off. Just because you may not agree with a family member does not mean you need to share your opinion. Likewise, you can take a walk outside and get some much-needed fresh air. If you have little ones in your family, you can offer to watch them for the parents. Not only is this a kind thing to volunteer for, but it also keeps your attention on the child and away from the rest of the family. Understand it is okay to take a break if necessary for your benefit.
Enter with an Open Mind and Be Present
Do not let a bad morning ruin your mood for the entire visit. You won’t always be able to visit your family, so take advantage of the time you have now. To do this, listen to your favorite playlist or get a good workout in beforehand. Whatever will make you happy and put you in a good mood, try it. If you have a few extra minutes in the day, I highly recommend getting a coffee on your way over. It is also important to remain present, so put aside any distractions that could ruin your ability to remain in the moment. This applies to your thoughts too, not just technology. Stop thinking about responding to that email or signing up for an extra work shift and appreciate who is in front of you.
Stop Judging Yourself
More often than not, the way we judge others is more of a reflection of ourselves than other individuals. This also applies from the opposite perspective. At family gatherings, you are likely to be teased by another family member. It is important not to take these jokes to heart. When someone is trying to make light of a situation, it is much more focused on the event than on your character individually. Think about it: when you make a joke about someone, are you truly trying to offend them or make them upset? Probably not. Laughter is used as a behavior to bond families, not tear each other apart. Do not unnecessarily put yourself down for fear of what someone may or may not be thinking about you, considering the latter is more likely.