There’s nothing quite like going home for winter break- home cooked meals, Christmas cookies, seeing your pets, being with family, and of course, finally showering without flip flops. While the excitement of all of that sinks in, there can be also be a twinge of nervousness. All of your high school friends will get together, which may lead to some awkward run-ins with the ex.
These run-ins may bring back old feelings, but should you explore them? It’s so easy to get swept back up into an old relationship with the romance of the holidays, but will it work out this time, or will things fizzle out by New Years Day?
Every relationship is its own, so there is no universal answer, but make sure you think it through before getting involved again.
Most importanly, remind yourself of why the two of you broke up in the first place. There is a big difference between getting in a silly fight or identifying serious issues in the relationship. Sometimes an argument can overshadow the relationship when really things aren’t that bad. If that’s the case, maybe give it a chance. Of course, if you’re just bickering or having those silly fights all of the time, it may be time to move on.
However, when you notice those feelings for your ex creeping back, step back for a moment and remember the break up. What serious issues did your relationship have and how did you feel during the break up? If the issues were serious enough the first time, it may be smart to hesitate jumping back into things. While starting over may bring the two of you right back to the honey moon stage, chances are the same problems may surface again.
Ask yourself what you’re looking for in life right now. While you were at school, if you thought about him all of the time and have felt honestly lonely without him, it may be worth it see if anything is still there. But if you haven’t thought much about him while you were at school, why start now? It is easy to forget about a guy while you’re getting crazy with your girls and pouring over your textbooks, but you may have grown to be a more independent woman while doing those things. There is no reason to give that up if you’ve enjoyed the new you.
Make sure that you’re considering this for you and no one else. Everyone, especially all the family you’ll see over break, loves to give advice on how to handle your love life. But no one knows the relationship like you do, so stick to your gut. Family and friends aside, don’t just do it for him either. It’s so easy to give in to a good apology or guilt trip, but in the end, if it’s not for you, you won’t end up happy. And your happiness needs to be your top priority.
If the two of you decide not to try things out, but to try to be friends instead, that can be equally confusing. Sometimes it’s just too soon to hang out without it being weird, and if feelings are still involved, it can lead to one of you getting hurt. Or, the two of you may be able to realize that you’re not meant to be in a relationship, but have a solid friendship. Either way, only continue communication if it makes your life better. If the friendship or relationship benefits you and adds to your happiness, and not just in the short term, then go for it! But if it’s anything short of that, it’s simply a waste of your time.