Here you are, after four years of hard work… It’s all paying off! You’re going to graduate, have a fun summer and then leave home for the first time. A lot of people are excited, but also really nervous for this big transition which is extremely normal. However, some people have another burden on them during this transition- their high school relationship.
I started dating my boyfriend during our freshman year of high school. We obviously had our ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade those memories for the world. He had been committed to Brown University since our Junior year; therefore, when it came time for me to make my college decision, I felt pressure on where to go. I didn’t let our relationship dictate my decision on where to attend college- advice which I recommend to anyone. I ended up at UNH, which is a two-hour drive to Brown.
I remember everyone asking us if we planned to stay together in college, we always said we hadn’t had that talk yet and that we weren’t sure. We never really ended up having any sort of sit down talk, we just agreed that to try a long- distance relationship. We loved each other so much and didn’t want to let distance decide whether we were right for each other before we even tried it out.
Luckily for me, this has worked out great for us. However, long distance doesn’t work for every couple. I think there are a few indicators to whether or not your relationship will last in college, but also that you will be in a happy long distance relationship.
My boyfriend is the opposite of jealous, he would never tell me not to wear something, not to be friends with someone or not to go to a party with a lot of other guys there. This is aspect one- If your significant other is this type of person, do not stay together. You only get four years of college and if you let even just your first semester be ruined by another person’s bad attitude, you’re going to regret it. If you can’t live your college life to the full experience that you want to, that is a sign you two should not be in a long distance college relationship.
On the other hand, I am a jealous person. However, I’ve built trust throughout our relationship and little things that used to bother me (even though the shouldn’t have) don’t anymore. So, you have to ask yourself if you could possibly end up being the controlling one in the relationship. Are you going to make yourself sick with worry every time your significant other leaves their dorm on a weekend night? Are you going to stay up at night wondering if he’s Snapchatting or texting someone behind your back? Are you going to end up telling them to not go to parties if there are other girls there? That is unfair to your significant other and will end up making both of your experiences more dreadful.
My biggest advice if you are questioning whether or not to “try out” long distance with your partner in college, is to truthfully ask yourself if there is the possibility of your college experience being negatively affected by your relationship in any way. Your relationship should only make your experience better, and I think most people can answer that question before going off to college but not everyone will listen to their own answer.