Why it’s hot to not give it up
The weekend is a time when you hear the same stories from your friends, about who they hooked up with and how far they actually went. The term “hook-up” is used as a general assumption as “had sex”. This doesn’t qualify for everyone though. College students talk openly about their sex lives and often toss around the subject without even a second thought, boasting about getting laid or their most recent endeavors. Sex is no longer a touchy subject and this is true for girls and guys. For goodness sakes people are reading 50 Shades of Grey, the most sexual book existing, in public places, giving nothing left to the imagination. You may think you’re alone, but you’re not! According to the CDC 80% of men and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and this is not everyone. There are so many girls who are virgins on this campus, it’s just not something they advertising. It’s just like a girl doesn’t announce, “I just had sex” on twitter or set your Facebook status to “Virgin!” You shouldn’t feel forced into loosing your virginity, just because you think everyone else is doing it. Being a virgin is not as rare as you think. Take Sean Lowe, the incredibly sexy bachelor, who decided that after college he was going to abstain from sex until his wedding night.
On The Bachelor, Sean didn’t use to term the Media referred to him as, a re-born again virgin. Sean isn’t embarrassed to admit he wasn’t going to sleep with any of the women hanging off him and you should not be embarrassed at the fact of being a virgin either. There have been many celebrities such as Tina Fey and Brooke Shields who have come out and said they stayed celibate until there twenties. Adriana Lima, who is one of the sexiest women in the World, was a virgin until she was twenty-seven years old. Just like these celebrities, girls at UNH are choosing to abstain from sex. For those who are still members of the virginity club, a number of reasons are given, including religious or moral qualms, fear of pregnancy, and “just haven’t found the right person.” Even if you’re not a virgin, there are those who are just choosing to say no to sex. You can still decide after you’ve lost your virginity to not have sex again, whether it’s because of a bad experience, you did it too soon, or you’re deciding to wait until you fall in love again. You can’t reclaim your virginity, but you can make the choice to practice abstinence in the future.
Sean Lowe the bachelor, who is engaged to Catherine Giudia, may be in love and with the woman he is going to spend the rest of his life, but he’s still waiting for his wedding night. Sean is a conservative Christian and born-again virgin. His religion is an important part of his life so he has decided to remain celibate since his college experience. His fiancée is supportive of his choice, just like a boy you date should be supportive of your choice not to have sex and always be respectful.
So next time you see a girl dressed provocatively or flirting with a guy at PIKE in the basement don’t be so quick to judge. The 20-year-old virgin: It’s not extinct. I decided to talk to one of my friends, “Melanie”, who is a virgin and see what she thinks about being a virgin on a sex-crazed campus. Melanie said that she thinks it seems rare for people to be a virgin going into college, “it’s sort of just assumed that everyone has already had sex. I do think that some girls give off certain vibes when they’re desperately seeking a one night stand and that’s something I’d never do.” Melanie believes that being a virgin gives her an upper hand because she gains respect from both boys and girls, and there’s no immediate pressure to have sex. When asked about the mentality she has when going out, Melanie said she doesn’t do it any differently than any other girl. “I wouldn’t say I dress any differently… I still dress to thrive and attract all the men, just because I don’t have the intention of sleeping with anyone doesn’t mean I don’t want to look hot and have fun. However, my mindset is probably different. Never once have I gone out without planning to come back to my own bed, alone. It’s just become not an option. I still go out every night and I’ll flirt with other guys.”
Melanie describes the reaction she gets from people who find out she’s a virgin as shocked and many believe she’s lying. “I don’t know why people think I would lie about something like that, but I guess they do. I actually love it when people think I’m a ‘slut’ because it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I find the reactions amusing. Another great thing is a lot of guys know about my status as a virgin but it doesn’t affect the amount of attention I get, I don’t think its really perceived as a good or bad thing. It’s something personal, a choice everyone can make for themselves.”
Sex has lost its meaning for a lot of people, especially in the college. Sex is something more than a physical act, and its okay for girls to think this way. Sex is all based off personal opinion, and that’s why no matter how many sexual partners someone has it’s ultimately their choice. Girls should know what their standard are when it comes to sex to avoid making a decision they may regret later. Melanie described sexual relationships in a perfect way, “I have plenty of friends who never regret having sex with random people, which is awesome, but I just know that I personally wouldn’t be ok with that, and that’s what I encourage girls to avoid.” Call her a tease but for Melanie, she loves to go out to a party and kiss a guy who thinks they’re going to get more, “I’m proud of myself”, she says, I’ve never had to wake up in the morning regretting the guy I drunkly slept with.” Whether you’re saving it for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now, just know you’re not alone even if you may feel like it some days. Stay proud, stay true to you, and don’t worry about what anyone else says.