No one told me what dating in college would really be like. Not that I needed to be warned, but it’s different than what people make it out to be. Movies and TV shows forget to tell you that the idea of seeing your significant other every day is unrealistic. In high school you think college dating is going to be so much better because you’re ‘free’ now. That’s not the case.
In high school everyone knew each other and their whole life stories, but in college it takes a lot to get to really know someone. You get a fresh start when you leave high school; you can be whoever you want to be and leave your past behind you. If you have a poor sense of judgment, finding the right guy/girl could be tough in college. It’s harder to open up to new people because this is the time when you’re really trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be.
Dating in college has its ups and downs. Being in a relationship for over a year now, I can tell you that it hasn’t been easy but that it’s worth it. It’s nice to have someone that’s there for you on your worst days, someone that always supports you, and helps you take your mind off of all the stress and pressure that comes with school. But what people don’t realize is that your significant other is going to have those bad days too. You’re going to have to be the person that lifts them up when they want to give up, even if you have your own stuff going on. When you date someone in college you have to make sure that you put in just as much effort as your partner. It’s a difficult but beautiful thing; it makes you feel like you’re growing together and going through all these struggles helps make you a stronger team. Anxiety is something that a lot of college students deal with and it can be hard to date when you or your boyfriend/girlfriend struggle with mental health. You have to be a super understanding person if you want to actually date someone in college. Everyone has their own stuff going on; you have to remember that people are in college for themselves and that this is the time to start putting yourself before anyone else. That doesn’t mean you can’t be in relationship, it just means that there are going to be a lot of compromises.
In today’s society, dating is made nearly impossible due to all the technology used daily. People are always saying, “well, she was active on Instagram a couple minutes ago and never replied to my texts,” or “according to the Snap map he was on his phone ten minutes ago, so he’s ignoring me.” Of course it hurts to realize you’re being ignored but what people don’t understand is that it doesn’t mean they’re doing it intentionally or that they don’t like you. In between classes and meetings, I’m always catching up on social media. I would rather text people when I’m done with classes for the day, instead of answering once every hour or two. It’s so easy to read into these types of things but if everyone stopped worrying about their phones, dating wouldn’t be as exhausting. Once again: be understanding and realize that people are busy during the week/days focusing on themselves.
Although there are a lot of factors that complicate being in a relationship, I think it can be a really good thing for some people. For me, it has helped shaped me into a better person. My boyfriend has taught me a lot about myself and what it means to really care about someone. He’s my best friend and it makes me feel better knowing that he’ll be there for me on the days where I just don’t feel confident enough and need motivation to keep trying. Even though a lot of our time together is spent studying, I’m grateful to have someone to grow with.