Perspectives in Dating

Recently, I made a survey posing the simple question: “What is something that girls/guys do while dating that really gets on your nerves?” I got a whole slue of responses (some inappropriate, some funny, but mostly truthful, anger ridden answers). By doing this, I found that many dating habits that girls find bothersome, boys also find bothersome, and vice versa. Can you believe it? Something both sexes agree on! Most importantly, I found that all of these problems can be completely explained and, hopefully, terminated after each sex has a better understanding of the other. Let’s take a look at the top results:

 

1.     Paying

-Many females stated in the survey that they truly cannot stand when a guy doesn’t pay for dinner, the movies, etc. It was further stated that the guy should pay for the date in full and not even pose the idea to split it down the middle. Girls said when a guy does not pay, they find it extremely unattractive and, ultimately, a deal breaker. However, here’s where the plot twist comes in. Guys stated on the survey that they cannot stand when a girl knows that the guy is going to pay for the date, yet still gets the most expensive drink, meal, dessert, etc. on the menu. Guys feel as though the girl is taking them paying for granted and spending their money thoughtlessly.

Solution: Girls, next time you go on a date and you know the guy is paying, try not to add on to the movie ticket by getting a large drink, large popcorn, a milk duds. The guy will feel as though you appreciate him paying and won’t mind doing it as much!

 

2.     Consistency

-From many of the answers in this survey, I found that girls believe consistency to be key. Girls hate when guys aren’t consistent because it makes them second-guess whether the guy is serious or not. Girls feel confident in their newfound relationships until they find that their man didn’t bring them coffee before class one time, although he had been doing it all week long. A guy’s explanation for this would be that girls “expect too much.” Guys stated that they enjoy doing nice things for the girls they like, but found that if they do it once, they are expected to do it a bunch of times. Most of the guys wished that girls could be more like them and just “go with the flow.” Expectation freaks most guys out and they don’t enjoy being held to a standard that they cannot overcome.

Solution: Ladies, try not to freak out when your man wants to hangout with his boys one night after he had hung out with you for the last three. It isn’t that he isn’t being consistent; he’s just trying to balance you and his friends. I know it’s easy to think something “crazy” (I hate that word) like he might be getting sick of you, but it definitely has nothing to do with that.  Try being more confident and laid back about it and I’m sure you’ll be hanging out the next night.

3.     Texting

-Almost a third of the responses, from both guys and girls, had something or other to do with texting. Both sexes repeatedly said that the other doesn’t text enough, won’t text first, doesn’t seem interested during texting conversation, and/or take too long to answer during texting. However, a good portion of responses also said that guys “blow up girls’ phones” too much and girls very too often annoyingly “double text.” So, it seems as though there’s a lot going on here.

Solution: I think it is safe to say that girls always want the guy to text first and the guy finds this annoying. Point blank. However, I’m going to put it out there that I don’t think this is subject to change any time soon. Coming from a girl, I can honestly say that the whole “texting first thing” is just so the girl knows that she is on your mind. If you’re a guy, and you don’t want to text your girl all day, then settle for a nice “Good morning, busy day today. Thinking of you!” text. I genuinely promise you that your girl will be thrilled to have received this, even if you don’t talk until later that night. Sending a text takes two seconds, and, ladies, although we like being texted first, it CAN go both ways!

4.     Communication

-It is a tale as old as time: girls getting mad at guys for not knowing that they did something wrong. Girls find it to be so obvious and sit around silently waiting for the guy to apologize for his mistakes. Meanwhile, guys have zero idea that anything is wrong, have absolutely no idea what they did, and have not the slightest clue that as every second goes by your blood pressure is going higher and higher.

Solution: I know it may seem super-duper-amazingly-in-your-face obvious to you that your man screwed up, but chances are if you don’t just sit him down and tell him what he did, he’s never going to know. Girls and guys’ have two completely different minds, and girls might interpret something a guy said or did into something entirely different than the way they meant it. Most of the time, a huge fight can be avoided if the communication is there and it will save you a lot of sighing, feet stomping, and headache!

5.     Self-Esteem

-Many guys claimed that they hate when girls have low self-esteem in relationships because it causes them to act clingy and needy. Interestingly enough, girls complained about the exact opposite. Girls stated that they hate when guys have too much self-esteem in a relationship, better termed “cockiness,” because it is a major turn off to be too into yourself. Guys explained themselves to be this way because they are always expected to initiate everything whether it’s sex, texting, or asking a girl out on a date. Most of them didn’t even find themselves to be cocky, just confident in knowing they had to be the first to do all of those things. Girls, however, explained that they feel self-conscious because they interpreted their man’s confidence as cockiness, which made them feel less important.

Solution: Girls, maybe try initiating a hangout or a text every once in a while! I know it seems nerve wracking, but your guy will surely appreciate you putting in a little extra effort every now and then so they don’t feel like they’re the only one. Plus, it will make you look a lot less self-conscious if you’re taking the initiative!

 

Although girls and guys have different mindsets and become bothered by different issues, there are a few things that bother both sexes just the same. Both sexes reported phone use while hanging out is extremely annoying and leads to feelings of insecurity. Either sex feels as though if their significant other is on the phone while hanging out, they must be bored and not enjoying themselves with their partner. This is something we must stop doing! Nobody enjoys this, so why does it keep happening? Second, both sexes reported that they hate when their partner lies. This one made me laugh because girls are always putting all the lies on the guys, but guys feel the same way about us! (Perspective, my friends.) And, lastly, neither sex enjoys when their partner gets jealous. However, maybe with the help of this article, couples will understand where their partner is coming from and eliminate the jealously for the most part. Just remember, there are two sides to every story, and, in order to be in a happy and healthy relationship, both stories need to be told. Happy relationship hunting, folks!