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Her20s

Pain is the Seed to the Flower of Life

I think it is important for people of any age, but especially for people in their twenties to realize that growth is a process and not just a goal. One day I read, “sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain because most of life’s greatest lessons are learned through the pain”. This resonated with me because I am someone who barricades me from things like feelings or chances at happiness because I want to avoid pain at all costs. I would say that anyone who reads this has experienced deep emotional pain in one way or another, and in my opinion, it is far worse than any other pain I have ever endured. It is for that reason that I do not allow myself to be vulnerable or take risks because of the chance of getting hurt. The first sentence; sometimes you must hurt in order to know, is the one that conflicted me the most. Because of my past and because of my ghosts, I have become someone who inevitability avoids and resists any chances of getting hurt and have decided what I do not know, cannot hurt me. From this, I formed a very pessimistic view that has kept me from letting anyone in. I told myself that I cannot control or know how others feel about me, but what I can control is how I feel about others and if I keep everyone at arm’s length, losing them will make less of an impact. With that, I am sharing this quote to help show that growth is a process and that pain does not have to be a feared thing. I am actively working every day to take risks, learn to live, and just attempting to be more vulnerable because of the growth that can result. Over time, my habit of keeping people behind my walls has isolated me from chances of real happiness, love, and many other positive and amazing things.

Another big piece of this quote is that one must lose in order to gain. I have lost a lot of things in my life; people, places, items, and more, but I have gained so much knowledge, love, appreciation, and strength in return. During the course of my life and through the struggle to find an emotional connection, I have realized that isolating myself is almost just as painful and potentially more self-destructive than what I might experience if I were to take risks and let people in. If you think about it, how could anyone know what it is like to lose someone you love if you do not love anyone at all? When it comes down to it, these things in life are nearly impossible to avoid and it comes down to deciding which side you want to be on the side of knowing what is like to love deeply or the side that doesn’t know that joy at all. All of these things show that life’s lessons are often taught through pain and therefore, pain is the seed that grows into the flower that you have the potential to be.  

Hi I'm Olivia! I am sophomore at UNH and I am a dual major in Psychology and Justice Studies.
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