I don’t have second graders, but for my last semester of my senior year of college, I got the chance to be a student teacher for class credit. I will hopefully be a literary specialist one day, working in a school, and will need to earn my teaching license along the way. I thought that this course was the perfect chance to get some classroom experience.
I had the weary expectation that my first day as a student teacher would be both awkward and anxiety-inducing. I imagined being in a huge and daunting classroom, me standing in the front with a shaky voice and sweaty hands, having to explicitly explain who I was and what my exact business was being in their presence and interrupting their usual classroom routine.
Walking down the white halls my first day as an intern, I heard small whispers. I listened closer. “Ms. Baxer is here today, guys,” “Guess what? Ms. Baxer is finally here,” “She’s here!” Suddenly, all at once, I wasn’t so nervous. I smiled in relief to myself and walked through the big open door to the second-grade class.
There was no daunting delivery address expected of me. No dagger eyes wondering what in the world I was doing standing before 17 7-year-olds with my blue visitor’s pass and my business-appropriate dress pants I felt a little like an imposter in. Right as I turned a sharp corner walking into this new room, one of the young students pointed to a hook with my name printed in big letters above it. She immediately and kindly showed me where to hang my coat and backpack, in my very own designated spot.
I could right away tell that I was in a good place. My co-operating teacher and her group of young students were obviously remarkable. Even during my first week, the students would express their immense sadness when I would need to leave their school to go to class after a long day and would beg me to stay even just a little longer. I never expected to be so needed and appreciated.
The first boy to come up to me and introduce himself asked me to share with him my “favorite winter sport.” I knelt down beside him and explained that I grew up with special memories from skiing with my family and friends every Wednesday afternoon when I was his age. Ten minutes later, he found me at my seat and handed me a carefully drawn sketch of a girl skiing down a big mountain with detailed winter trees and a ski lift behind her. He hardly knew me, but he drew something he knew would mean something special to me, and it did. His picture was beautiful, and it is still hanging on my fridge door, attached with a magnet.
I finalized my decision to become a teacher in the midst of my junior year. Long story short, I began nannying for twin boys who are five-years-old. I loved working with them so much, I knew I wanted a career centered around children. However, I never was a teaching assistant before then, never even worked in a school or “taught” children in a professional setting. I felt lost at the time, having no real experience working in a school.
I was over-whelmed by the LinkedIn alerts, the Facebook posts gleaming with the achievements of others and of conversations where a classmate or friend of mine knew exactly what they want to do as a career.
I realized soon enough that I didn’t want a fancy business job. I did not want to work in a restaurant. I wanted to work with kids, I love kids and have always loved interacting with them. I just needed the courage to align my work with my career goals of working with children. This second-grade classroom encouraged me to be brave enough to keep trying.
The experiences I have taken from my student teaching, I will keep with me for a long, long time. Every day, I made new and lasting connections with each student, and there was never a day where I waivered in my decision to become an educator.
Every morning, my co-operating teacher plays the song Brave by Sara Bareilles. The message of the song is that you should not be afraid to do what makes you happy, and you should not hold back from doing what you want to do. I was surprised to see the kids on the first day, sing this song with its powerful message so enthusiastically, with no hesitation. It’s clearly their favorite part of the day when my teacher asks “who wants to be brave today?” and invites those who want to, to dance any way they want to express themselves in the center of the room. Some laugh, some smile, but all of the students cheer each other on.
On one of my visits to the class last week, they actually invited me, Ms. Baxer herself, to go into the center of the circle and be “brave.” Little did the class know, that they had already made me brave, the second they welcomed me into their class and gave me the amazing chance to be courageous and jump into a work field I always wanted to be a part of.