You could convince me to do just about anything I was afraid to do. You were and still are the only person to this day who I could ever share a tiny room with, with two twin beds covered in surfboards. You experimented with me in the painting of our room whether it was pink, Tropicana Cabana, or Ashen Plum. You were also the only person who would be honest with me about things I should not have known about (except for that time you taught me that a hangover was when you got a stomachache from hanging over a skateboard).
You are my teacher. You are the reason I love music. You brought music into my life to fill me with the joy it always filled you with. You saved me from my terrible music choices of the time. You taught me to use my voice and sing. You taught me to use my thoughts and write. You brought these beautiful things to my life and showed me that I could dream too. You showed me that I had the potential to be great, that if I just put myself out there, the world would respond. You taught me that it was ok to say what I felt. That it was okay to feel how I felt. You taught me not to grow up being scared of everything. You showed me that the world isn’t as scary as it seems. Not every person is bad and not every man that walks in the same direction as us at the wall is following us. We will always beg to differ on that one.
You are my guidance. You were the only person who would ever tell me that I looked silly attempting to wear the same clothes as you. You also frowned upon us wearing the same bikini to the beach when you were 17 and I was 10. Your voice is the constant reminder in my head, never to let the words or thoughts of others bring me down. You have always taught me that the people who care about you will show you their support. They will not judge you for being you, they will not try to make you change. They will accept you for you are and love you for what you bring to them. You practiced what you preached.
You are the reason that I have learned to be me. Our friendship has never been competitive. It has never been critical. You never gave me the silent treatment for something I did. You supported me to no end. I could come to you with anything, at any time of the day, and I know you would be there to listen, to talk and as always to make me laugh until I forgot about the problem. Our relationship revolves around laughter. People never understood us. You showed me my potential and you always brought out my greatest qualities. You still do. You guided me and cheered me on. You never let me feel bad about myself. You gave me confidence. You taught me how to feel freedom and independence. Even in our relationship, I always took on the role of the older sibling, the one with common sense and reasoning. You were the risk taker. The fun one. You are the person with whom I shared my first drink. You tried and tried to bring me out of my shell not only to you, but to the world. Years later you’ve finally done it.
You showed me that it is ok to be weird. You showed me that it was not that crazy to talk to seagulls after a full day in the sun. That it was totally appropriate to dance in the middle of the street, or to make strange noises and faces when out in public. You taught me that it was okay to do things differently. However, you never hesitated to yell at me if I was being annoying. Thankfully I finally stopped storming off into the bathroom to cry because I was so sensitive about being called annoying. You taught me to pick myself up. You were never one to knock on the door to make sure I was ok. You waited until I was ready to come out and be done with my little tantrum. Comfort was not your style. I hated to cry in front of you. I never wanted you to see me weak. My breaking point was when you cried. Then I couldn’t stop. You brought me confidence. You showed me that it is ok to like boys and talk about it. That backfired on you the day that I never stopped.
You have no idea how much I miss that tiny little room at the beach, the terrible color choices we chose or the terribly uncomfortable beds, you sleeping with your eyes open, you talking in your sleep and coming over to my bed just staring at me. I even miss you taping your eyes shut because you knew it scared me. You have no idea how much I miss our car rides at night, riding along the beach, the only place where we could really talk and get out all of our worries, our secrets, our dreams. Our “shower talks” will always be a favorite of mine. You never had a moment of peace from me yet you never seemed to mind.
You are and forever will be the other half of me. I will never have another friend like you. I will never be with a person I know as well as you. I can predict what you are going to say, what that little smirk on your face means, or when you’ve done that thing that I will not mention here. You have been my role model since I was five. Your laughter has always been a comfort for me. You are silly. You are ditzy. You are brilliant. You are beautiful. You are fearless. You are confident. You have weird habits and like the strangest things. You are a dreamer. Yet with all of these things you are simple. You are a believer and a true teacher at heart. You have no idea of the impact you have had on me. You hate mushy gushy things. You were never a sucker for romance novels or chick flicks. But you’re used to it with me. Even these words don’t do justice for all that you have done for me, for all that you have experienced with me. There’s no combination of words that show just how much you meant to me. But here it is, to my once in a lifetime best friend, I just thought it was time for you to know how great YOU are and how much you will always be a part of me, the best part.