Love Me a Little Extra on My Bad Days
Today, I asked my friends if they could share something in their lives that they have been struggling with lately. I got an array of responses. Recently, my days have consisted of thinking a lot about what it means to be a student and a friend. Thinking about all the struggles we endure throughout the course of just one day. Being 18, 19, 20, 21…yeah, best years of our life!Am I right? Ha! No one likes to talk about the tough stuff, even though it’s more than okay to feel what you’re feeling. Having the ability to express what you’re feeling is a part of how we grow and deal with things. We all go through different stages in our lives at different times and we have to realize that were not alone.
When I asked my friends if they would be comfortable sharing this with me, I realized that our emotions are not as different as we thought they were. A lot of the issues my friends were struggling with I had struggled with myself at one time or another. It felt so good to talk, relate, and enforce that confidence back into my friends and back into myself. I encourage everyone to sit down with a few friends and just talk to them about something that’s been on your mind. They will be so happy to talk about something more than the party on Saturday, the big test coming up, or when to have lunch.
I’d like to share some of the responses I got with all of you. I want everyone to know they’re not alone. I hope that if you can relate to even one of these responses, it will make you feel strong, more confident, and most importantly feel like you’re never alone.
Responses:
“I’ve been struggling with the overwhelming amount of work I have due in the coming weeks. I wouldn’t say it’s time management or anything, but just trying to organize my work and time accordingly, while trying not to have a mental breakdown.” -Lindsey McSweeney, 19 years old.
“Honestly this has never been a problem for me before, but lately I’ve been doubting my ability and wondering if I’m good enough. I don’t know if it’s because of the switch in schools and everyone here is just naturally so so smart or just basically having to start everything all over again. I don’t really know why…” -Allysa D’Amico, 19 years old.
“I’ve been struggling with my skin lately. Idk why but I’m breaking out all over the side of my face and I just feel like my skin is so congested. I hate it and I feel like nothing I do for it is working at all” -Catherine Bossi, 20 years old.
“I’ve been struggling with my break up and being “on my own” for the first time in almost 5 years. It’s been really weird for me not having someone to confide in with 100% trust and having to work through a lot of issues on my own or talk to new people that I don’t completely trust and feeling really vulnerable. All my roommates are in relationships and two of them are with guys that are obsessed with them and they treat the guys really horribly and the guys still don’t leave them so it’s really frustrating knowing how well I treated him and it makes me think like “I wasn’t good enough for him” even though I know that wasn’t the case. Also the pressure from people that now that I’m single I need to move on which means going out and hooking up with some guy which I just don’t feel like I’m ready for yet. But, I feel like until I do that people won’t think I’m ok or I’m still stuck on him. Even though there are some rough days I feel better now than I did in my relationship and I’m really just enjoying being single, focusing on myself and not worrying about guys at all because I’m happy with where I am right now.” -Anonymous
“I guess I’d say being worried about my sister all the time. She’s having a tough time at school and her friends messaged me recently talking about how they’re concerned for her and stuff. She was at Bing this weekend though, so I got to talk to her personally about stuff going on at home and I think that helped a little.” -Lamorna Coyle, 19 years old.
“I find it hard to eat healthy here even tho there are so many options there are also unhealthy ones so it’s hard to have selfcontrol with that which leads to me feeling gross about myself and just shitty in general and makes me feel unmotivated to do anything” -Anonymous
“The idea of graduating in two years not knowing what I want to do with my life literally no f**king idea. And I stress 24/7 because my major isn’t the easiest major to get a good job in without going to a lot of school after I graduate. And I DEF don’t have enough money to go to law school.” -Hawa O’brien, 19 years old.
“I’ve been struggling with the way relationships with your friends or anyone change in college. And just life I guess and understanding how people are just friends out of convenience, how people can stop being close after so long, and how your relationship with certain people affect your relationships with others. I think it definitely has to do with where we grew up and how everyone will always be there for you at home because we have known each other for 13+ years so I have trouble understanding how to be just as close with someone I have known for 1 year as someone I have known for 13. Obviously, I love my friends here but it’s just something I have been thinking about this semester” -Anonymous
“I’ve been struggling with being at school and just not feeling like I belong here and not being around people that I totally click with. I feel like college or at least this college is just maybe not my thing but I’m trying to just focus on myself but sometimes it’s hard feeling like I’m not having this amazing time that other people seem like their having.” -Tess Adams, 19 years old.
“I guess the thing I’ve been dealing with is like trying to stay focused and motivated. idk if you ever knew but I’ve been pretty depressed since like 7th grade, so being at college is just something that I have to really focus on. like getting up every day and actually going to class and eating when I’m supposed to and showering and doing work u know. Like just normal things that you’d never think about become serious chores when u have depression and I guess that’s what I struggle with is just keeping my head above water…” -Julia Padolf, 19 years old.
“Right now in my life, I feel like I have a lot to figure out and to decide for my future. A lot of my friends know exactly what they want to do when they are older and what major they are planning on, however I have absolutely no idea what direction I want to go in with my life. I’m not sure if I can even see myself doing jobs in the business major I’m planning on right now. I feel like I am very bad at managing my time and fitting in all the things I need to and fitting in the time to see certain people in my life.” -Catherine Molla, 19 years old.
“Lately I have been working on myself a lot. I’m trying to fix a lot of my life and the people I have in it. I’ve found it really hard to let go of people and things that aren’t good for me, but I know it will be better for me in the long run:)” -Anonymous
“My mom was really really smart in high school and college, graduated first in her class and went on to be a CPA for a bit. She never pressures me, but I feel very pressured to be as smart as she is. I obviously want to be like her, but I get very stressed sometimes because I try so hard and don’t always come out with the results. Ill study so hard and get a bad grade and I feel like she gets mad or looks down on me ((she obv doesn’t)) because she was so awesome and turned out f**king awesome and I’m not as good as her in all aspects.” – Jenny Shannon, 19 years old.
Take Away
I really hope that these responses have helped you feel like you’re never alone. If you ever feel that stress or anxiety have become too overwhelming, take a second for yourself, put on a face mask, watch a movie, call your mom, write it down, or talk it out. And ALWAYS remember to love your friends a little extra on their bad days.