Living With Your Best Friend From Home 101

Going into college with a familiar face is awesome; designated dinner date, getting lost together, and making friends together. I’m from Mystic, Connecticut, a relatively small town that’s extremely boring with nothing to do (unless you’re a tourist). I grew up with my best friend, Olivia who I went to preschool with but because we lived in the towns next to each other we attended different schools from elementary school to high school. Liv and I would see each other all the time when we were little – beach camp, playdates, sleepovers but as we got older and our schedules got busier, we would only see each other a couple times a year. We started getting closer again when we began looking for colleges, we went everywhere from visiting schools in South Carolina to New Hampshire. I was set on attending UNH for the business school and Liv was trying to get into the nursing program (which we obviously both got in to). From going to seeing each other a handful of times a year to attending college together was a big unfamiliar step. Going into freshman year we both agreed that we should not live together because we heard best friends who live together tend to fight all the time. Not until this year, junior year, did we decide to live together. Although we’ve only been living together for a little over a month, here are some of the things I have learned so far. 

1. ODC is a common issue: Yes, everyone loves a clean room, but you personally can decide when you want to clean it and when you just want to push it over. The rules are different for a shared living space. I love living in a clean apartment, something about the place you live in being clean makes it seem like you have your life together. Well, I thought my standards of clean were pretty basic – wipe down kitchen counters, make sure the toilets are clean, take the trash out, etc. I was proved they were not up to par when I noticed Olivia cleans pretty much in any free time she has. She will Swiffer the floors about eight times a day, make sure the blankets are folded perfectly on the couch in the living room and scrub the toilet every time someone is coming over. Yes, those are all good habits, but there came a point where she would grow annoyed that she seemed to be putting in all the cleaning efforts when in reality, we just had different standards (including our three other roommates). My advice to you if you live with someone you are way too comfortable with, is just to communicate and set rules that can be agreed on with everyone which leads into my next tip; communication is key. 

1. Communication is key: Occasionally, talking about how you feel and or problems or concerns you have with your best friend can be difficult. You may be hesitant because know that they’re sensitive, or unforgiving or whatever may be the reasoning, but it is crucial to take the time to discuss these things. At the beginning of the semester Olivia and I got into a small argument and we both knew we were at some fault, but we were both being stubborn. After a night had gone by we both decided to sit down and talk about what had happened coming to a final agreement that we need to just talk things out right away rather than let them linger. Communication does not just go with resolving fights but also the little things like who does laundry when, who cleans what, and making sure we respect each other’s space.  

1. Realizing we can’t do everything together: One of the more tough things I have learned living with my best friend is that alone time is necessary. It is extremely important to put aside time for yourself for three reasons which are, you avoid the likelihood of getting annoyed with each other, you have time to think about the things you want, and that you can do what you like. Of course, there are other reasons why putting aside alone time is good, but those are the main reasons I make time for myself. I especially put time aside to do my homework and study due to the fact I cannot focus when I am with others, and that Olivia and I are two completely different majors (marketing and nursing). Making sure you keep your independence especially when getting older may be challenging, but it is necessary.Remember that it is okay and healthy to not spend every hour of the day together.  

1. Distributing time to other friends is important: Another tip of advice I can offer when living with a best friend is that you need to make sure you distribute time to others. Whether it be your other roommates, classmates, or different friend groups, it is important to be able to spread your time out. Although this one is particularly difficult due to the fact Olivia and I have the same friend group. Personally, it makes it easier to be included in things because we all are friends, but being able to spend one on one time with our other friends is crucial. Another helpful factor is that because we do not have any classes together, we are able to be apart from each other during the day giving us to a healthy break.  

1. Sharing food is convenient: When having any roommate, I advise you to talk about if you want to pool groceries or not. Olivia’s parents and my parents discussed with each other that buying in bulk and sharing the majority of our food is smart. Shopping together is a lot easier and even more so cooking together much more enjoyable. Olivia and I have also introduced each other to many new recipes which makes cooking dinner sound a lot more entertaining. Of course there will be some things you purchase for yourself, us specifically being the snacks we want, but for the most part we found grocery shopping and splitting up what we buy saves money and is easy.  

1. Closet access: Growing up with no siblings, both Olivia and I only had one closet to dig through. Now, the fact that we live together, we have twice the amount of clothes. This may not be interesting to some people who don’t like shopping or fashion, but it makes it way more interesting to be able to look through each other’s closets. We did make it clear that there are rules that come with borrowing clothes such as always asking before taking, not wearing an article of clothing that is new before the person who bought it has, and making sure we take really good care of it whether it be shoes or a top. Another reason this is good is that we are the same size in our clothes as well as shoe size which makes it convenient and helpful to not double purchase things. 

1. If you did not think becoming more similar was possible, it is: Olivia and I have generally been really similar not only because we grew up together but because we have a lot of the same taste in many things. Just for starters, Liv and I listen to the same music, shop at the same stores, like the same food, and enjoying watching the same types of movies. I never thought it was more possible to get more similar because we are pretty much the same person, but it is. Some ways we have become more similar is that I now get up at the same time she does, I enjoy coffee (which I hated coming into college), and she got me into doing yoga. Those are just some of the new similarities shared.  

Don’t get me wrong, choosing to live with Olivia was one of the best decisions I have made. The listed bullets above are just my tips and observations thus far living with her. Living with a best friend from my experience is definitely something one should try at least once. Whether it be freshman year or senior year, I can say that not only am I learning new things about a friend that I have had for 20 years, but new things about myself as well.