With springtime being in full swing at this point in the year, summer is right around the corner. Although summer is such a fun time of year, it also brings its stress. With the warmer weather comes smaller clothes and bathing suit season – something that I personally get anxious about. I love going to the beach or the pool and having fun with my friends, but sometimes it’s hard to unwind when you are constantly worried about the way you look. I’ve been there more times than I can count.
I remember being 14 years old in a Target dressing room. Bathing suit shopping has never been fun for me, as I can never find anything that fits my body the way I want it to. Being only 14, I had just started high school and was constantly trying to fit in. Looking at myself in the mirror in a bikini, I realized I didn’t look like most of my friends. I was frustrated, upset, and a little disappointed. I wanted to look the way that society approves of, and it took me a while to accept anything else.
Unfortunately, this is pretty much a universal experience for women. There have been times where I questioned if I was beautiful, or if I would look better if I were to change something about my appearance. However, then I considered the fact that nobody else looks like me. There’s nobody else in the world who I should compare myself to because I will never be them. I am so tired of thinking I have to change myself to be considered “pretty”. I get caught in the cycle of thinking if I was just a little bit skinnier then I would look better. If my nose was a little smaller or my lips were a little bigger. If I was a little taller or if my teeth didn’t look like that — but then, I wouldn’t be me. I see Tik Toks of extremely thin girls in bikinis with all the comments saying things like “I have a few more weeks to look like this,” or “why do I even breathe”. Comparing yourself to someone online is so unfair for so many reasons. You look the way you do because of the women in your family that came before you. Even though a pretty girl online may make you feel less than beautiful, you have to remember you deserve the same exact love that she does.
It’s so much easier to say these things than to actually actively lead with confidence every day. My advice? Fake it ‘till you make it! When you start thinking that you truly are beautiful and you are proud of the person you are (inside AND out), your light will shine so much brighter. It’s okay to feel insecure. It’s okay to not like the way you look sometimes or want to change something about yourself. However, it’s not okay to value yourself less because of these things or think that you deserve less. As cheesy as it sounds, you really do only get one life to do everything you want. Don’t let not having confidence hold you back. You can do everything you want to do, just the way you are right now.
Of course, I don’t have it all figured out. I can think of a few times I wish I had more confidence in situations. I think that’s one of my favorite things about being a college student — I am learning so much every day and I have so much space to grow. As young women, we all have so much potential. That being said — lead with your head held high and manifest yourself being the most confident version of yourself. You don’t need to change anything to be this person. The best version of you is the most confident version of you.