I have learned a million and one lessons from my mom about life. Whether it be advice about my career, my attitude, or my love life, my mom has always been able to give me her words of wisdom to help guide me through life. Now don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I have skated through life – there are plenty of times I didn’t take my mom’s advice and ended up on the floor with a broken heart – but, every time it made me wish I had listened to her. But the most valuable thing my mom, and my Aunt Coleene, have taught me are the Rules of Life. These three simple rules have guided me through the majority of my young adult life and I hope will continue to help me in the future.
Life’s Not Fair.
Yes, I did just say it. I’m sure this one might come as a shock to you, as it did to me when I was a young girl who thought everything in the world should be going my way, as most ten year olds believe. This is definitely the harshest Rule of Life, but the most important, and the faster you come to grasp it, the easier life will be. This is not to say that you can’t be upset when things don’t go as planned, or grieve when bad things happen, but it’s a phrase that will help pull you off your pity pot. The second you realize life isn’t fair and sometimes bad things happen, its enables you to pick yourself right back up – understand that even though it’s bad, things could be worse – and make a plan to make life better.
It’s Not What You Know It’s Who You Know.
When I was younger, this rule was so unfair to me. I struggled to understand why I wouldn’t get that internship, job, or position on an executive board because I was qualified and hard working. When you put your heart and soul into working on getting something and then you see it get handed to someone who didn’t put in all that effort but just knew someone, it freaking hurts. You question your work ethic, your integrity, and your will to continue to apply for things when you know you will get shut down. That outlook was not sustainable, it was far too negative and did not bring about any positive guidance to my life. Until one day, I changed the phrase to “It’s Who You Know That Gets You in The Door, and It’s What You Know That Keeps You There.” This changed my entire outlook on life itself. I began to focus on my network and my knowledge. I am a huge believer in “you are your network,” which means you are the people you surround yourself with. I can wholeheartedly say that I would not be where I am today without my network, and after they stuck their necks out for me to get the job I knew I had to deliver. So the moral of this Rule of Life is to build your network, work to make connections and meaningful relationships, and don’t forget to continue to work hard because trust me, none of this will be handed to you.
Attitude is Everything.
The final Rule of Life is easy to grasp but definitely not the easiest to follow through with. It is so easy to have a bad attitude toward something or someone when things aren’t going well. It is so much easier to be negative about something changing in your life, rather than look on the positive side, because quite frankly change is scary. But in reality, your attitude can control so much of your outlook on life and is something everyone should focus on being more conscientious of. Everyone knows that saying “first impressions last a lifetime” but I really think it’s the second, third, fourth and so on interactions that truly define how people view you. People won’t remember what you said to them when you first met them, but they will remember how you made them feel during all the interactions they had with you. So I’m not saying don’t have bad days, but I am saying work on making sure those bad days are just bad days, and don’t affect your entire attitude. You are your own brand and wouldn’t you want a positive attitude associated with that brand?
The Rules of Life, when applied in different situations, can be a real punch in the gut sometimes. They are the pills you can’t bring yourself to swallow, but know you need to in order to grow and learn. They continuously apply in my day to day life and never cease to amaze me when I realize it. And as for being able to understand them and use them to help me grow, well, I get that from my Momma.