Regardless of whether you’ve had a personal experience with the Walk of Shame or just giggled as an obvious victim strolled by you on the way to your Friday morning 8 am, it’s awkward. Since the Walk of Shame will continue to be a part of our college culture until kids stop loving to party, and I’m a firm believer in always being prepared, here’s some tips on how to do it in the most stylish and classy way possible!
1. Pack a bag and make it BIG.
The first mistake most of us make is going out with that cute little bag that’s just big enough to hold a few bucks for pizza and a pack of gum to mask the bad breath we’ll have after eating that pizza. Grab something bigger. While a clutch might be more convenient and stylish, it won’t store the essentials you’ll need to cover up your “unexpected” all-nighter.
2. Bring Makeup Remover
The biggest give-away that you’re a walk of shame rookie is a mess of clumpy mascara chunks and black eyeliner smeared around your bloodshot eyes. Total no-no. Bring a travel sized bottle of makeup remover or some makeup remover pads and freshen up before heading out the door!
3. Sunglasses
Play celebrity and hide from the haters in a cheap pair of over-sized shades. Because there’s only one thing worse than losing your favorite pair of sunglasses and its losing them in a place you never plan on going back to.
4. Comfy Shoes and T-shirt
Wearing stiletto heels that night made you look hot enough to snag your shagging partner, but are certainly no help in hiding the evidence that you’re on a walk of shame. If it’s warm enough, pack a pair of flip flops in your bag and toss in a tee shirt to cover up your cleavage hugging tank that is also probably not the norm at 7 am.
5. Breath mints, breath strips or gum
All are absolutely necessary for covering the funk of the late night munchies mixed with one too many frat beers! Pop a few in your mouth and converse with confidence, you never know who you could run into and you might as well be waving a walk of shame flag if your breath reeks!
6. Avoid making any pit-stops
Sitting next to the Sunday church group at the dining hall wearing last nights outfit is not my idea of fun so lets make this very clear. GO. HOME. You might think you need a cream cheese bagel from Philly first thing in the morning to get going, and all your friends might be waiting at Breaking New Grounds to hear what happened, but all those things are going to have to wait. Get home, hit the shower and brush those teeth and I promise you’ll feel much better and you’ll avoid funny looks from any church groups! Win-win!
7. Don’t leave things behind
Before you run out the door, make sure you do a final scan of the room to make sure you didn’t forget anything important. Leaving something behind so he’ll have to contact you later could end up in him showing up to class with your bra. Not cute.
8. Bring a hair elastic/headband
If you don’t constantly have a hair elastic wrapped around your wrist you might want to start. They’re key for tossing up a messy-do and calming any wild fly-aways. If you’re hair looks a total mess it can probably be inferred that your night was a mess too, so regardless of your hair accessory of choice (bobby pins work well too!) tame your mane before heading out to campus.
10. Be real
Having a sleepover with someone doesn’t obligate them to take you out to fro-yo on the weekends, walk you to class, call the next day or even acknowledge you on campus. Yeah, it sucks especially if you’ve been crushing on them since the first day of classes. Don’t spend your nights starring at your phone hoping for him to text you or over-analyzing his latest Facebook status. If he doesn’t appreciate spending the night with you then he’s probably not worth your time.
…and always remember “stride with pride” ;)