It’s hard to tell if dating was, or ever will be easy. There are so many rules and so many games to play that it’s easy to get exhausted before you even begin. It’s no secret that girls are much more complex than boys. We overthink, overanalyze and over stress about almost everything- including our interactions with the opposite sex. Men, on the contrary are simple-minded folk who often see things on a scale of yes or no. We can agree on a few things though. In order to find out how to advance to the next level in the male game of dating, I sacrificed some of my pride and dignity (jk) and simply asked some of my guy friends what it is about us that turns them off. Here’s what I found out:
(In no specific order)
1. Don’t talk about your ex. He’s your ex for a reason, time to cross him out of your life (X)
2. Easy on the perfume. A shower and a spritz is all you should need.
3. Don’t be sloppy. Slurring your words is only sexy…wait it’s actually never sexy.
4. Take a hint. If he’s just not that into you then let it go and move on. Nobody likes a lingering mosquito buzzing around them all night!
5. Keep it brief. Chewing his ear off for an hour about your childhood pet that recently passed is going to make him really sad…that he ever met you! Have a pity party with your girlfriends instead, that’s what they’re for, right?
6. Don’t dress frumpy…they told me to tell you guys to wear tight clothing but I’m not going to do that so instead I’ll tell you that if you’re going to spend 2+ hours getting ready, make sure you get a second opinion on your self-proclaimed award winning look. Your best friend never lies (when it comes to clothing) (I hope).
7. Don’t smoke cigarettes. Self-explanatory. Not attractive.
8. Put down the phone. I know it’s tempting, but Kendall and Kylie will still be Intagramming the same (similar) selfies tomorrow.
9. Be humble. Save yo bragging for yo momma.
10. Don’t try too hard. I guess it’s a total let down when he finds out you’re a wet blanket without a few drinks in you.
11. Avoid using the following terms: dude, man, bro
12. Don’t pretend like you know more about sports than they do, unless of course, if you do, in that case right-on sista!
13. Less is more when it comes to make up. If you do ever end up waking up next to this guy, he’s not going to be happy when he finds out you’ve been wearing a mask to the bar every night.
14. Use your brain. We aren’t in college for nothing! If you got it (which I’m assuming all of you do), flaunt it! Intelligence is sexy.
15. Don’t bring up anything about marriage ever. This includes your Pinterest wedding boards ladies.
16. Smile. Happy girls are the prettiest girls. Nothing says “date me” quite like the grump Guss in the corner with her arms crossed!
17. Secrets don’t make friends. Telling a secret to your girlfriend next to the guy you’re into is naturally going to make him think you’re talking about him, even if you aren’t (but let’s be real, you probably are).
18. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Saying something ignorant is a deal-breaker on either side. Thinking before you speak is key.
19. Don’t do drugs and/or be a drug addict. The potential of being robbed for drug money is apparently a turn off, whoda thunk?
20. Don’t hook up (or try to hook up) with their friends.
21. Don’t chronicle your life on Facebook and/or Twitter (@UNHHerCampus following all of your rules, just met a total campus cutie at SAE & I think we’re in LUV)
22. Have a sense of humor. It pains me to believe that people without a sense of humor exist but I’m just the messenger!
23. Since a list about guys wouldn’t be a list about guys without a double standard- listing your turn offs is also a huge turn off!
24. Don’t ask them about past relationships. Because what you don’t know can’t hurt you.
25. Don’t fart or burp in front of them…and I would like to make it known that (despite what boys seem to think) this is a deal breaker for the ladies in the house as well!
26. Don’t get jealous. If you just met this guy and you’re already calling him out for talking to another girl he may or may not assume that you’re a little bit of a psycho.
27. Brush your teeth and pack some mints. He’s not going to be able to focus on what you’re saying if all he can smell is whatever you had for dinner before moseying on over to the bar.
28. Our mother’s have taught us that it’s rude to stare but for some reason we just can’t stop! Try your best not to keep making awkward eye contact with the same fella, and if you just can’t help it, introduce yourself, damnit!
29. Bring your own ca$h to the bar. Expecting a guy to pay for your drinks will leave you nothing but sober and alone, and no one likes that! Getting free drinks is a wonderful, generous gesture but being able to afford your own dirty shirleys is a beautiful thing as well (cue Ne-Yo’s Miss Independent).
30. Don’t talk about religion and/or politics. There’s a good chance that you have the same views, but just in case you don’t I would suggest you save your Obamacare conversation for say, your fourth month of marriage?
31. Be yourself. In the end we’ve got to stop wearing so much makeup, overthinking what we’re saying, trying so damn hard. The right guy will like you for who you are, and if he doesn’t then you’re better off without him anyways!