Security, familiarity, and comfort. This is what I felt coming back to UNH for my second year. Last year coming to UNH was a big change. As a freshman, you’re uncertain about a lot of things as this is such a new experience. Many of us have never experienced such a drastic change. We pick up and move to a brand-new place with people we barely know, besides the occasional Instagram stalking and the few Facebook messages we may have exchanged. As we do all this, we leave behind our family, friends, and comfort zones to tread into unknown waters.
While college isn’t all bad and everyone has a different experience, there are a lot of people who struggle or take a little longer to adjust. These are some of the things I wish I was told when I once felt lonely and out of place.
Don’t Let Social Media Fool You
Something that isn’t often talked about is the struggle of college. In this day and age, social media has become a huge part of teens’ lives, including mine, and it’s almost unavoidable. Because of this factor, I often felt pressure as I saw other people having fun posting with their new friends and experiences. I often felt I wasn’t getting the college experience I had once hoped for and saw on my Instagram feed. The problem with social media is that everyone posts what they want other people to see. Often times we only see the good parts of people’s experiences because they don’t want to share the struggle. Don’t believe everything you see on social media because 9 times out of 10, those who look like they are having a great time are struggling just like you.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
I am not always one to ask for help. In fact, I didn’t tell my family I was struggling until about a month or two later. I often turned to my roommate and friends at home and that helped immensely. It’s better to talk to others, you might even find out they are in the same situation as you. It is helpful to have someone to lean on and share your experience and struggle with.
Another important tool to utilize is the wellness center at your school! I went to speak to the therapist on campus and found it beneficial, even though it was only one time. After going once, I felt more clarity and was able to move forward with a clearer mindset. Whether you go once or every week, speaking to a trained professional can really benefit you.
Mindset is Everything!
When winter break rolled around, I was itching to go home. I couldn’t hop in the car fast enough back to New Jersey. Once seeing friends and family, I had time over break to reset and feel more comfortable again. I originally thought I would transfer the following spring and never have to step foot on campus again. Over break, however, I had changed my mindset and didn’t dread going back to campus the following semester. After my mindset changed, I was more open to new people and experiences. At the time, I hadn’t realized it but looking back I was closed off because I couldn’t think of anything besides transferring and getting off campus.
The Turnaround
Things change, you meet new people, and life goes on. Eventually, in the year, there will be an event, a person, or an experience that changes the future of your college career. For me, all it took was one Saturday night with people we met once earlier in the semester. Now, those people have become some of my best friends and we have grown so much closer. One day/person can change everything. Everyone has a different college experience and whether they figure things out the first week of freshman year or junior, it’ll work out eventually.
One thing I heard repeatedly throughout my freshman year struggle was that “it takes time.” Hang in there, because it’ll all be worth it. Whether you stick with your original school or you choose to transfer, it’ll work out how it is supposed to. You’ll come out of freshman year with an appreciation of the experience because it can bring you strength, clarity and eventually comfort. I’m so glad I stuck it out, with the help of friends and family, because now I’m already having a great second year and it’s only the first week. I never thought I’d be here six months ago, but I am so glad I am.